


Do you Remember at All?

by Sunshinecowger



Category: Kabby fandom, The 100 (TV)
Genre: Affairs, Anger, Angst, Betrayal, Birth, Bob Seger, Children, Counselor - Freeform, Dad Kane, Divorce, Domestic Fluff, Eye Sex, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Hope, Kabby, Lake-town, Love, Making Love, Making Out, Making Up, Marriage, Memories, Oaths & Vows, Pain, Pregnancy, Pregnant Abby, Pregnant Sex, Renewing Vows, Reunion Sex, Reunions, Romance, Singing, Slow Dancing, Smut, Swimming Pools, Vacation, having a baby, marriage therapy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-11-13 01:33:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 29,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11174244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sunshinecowger/pseuds/Sunshinecowger
Summary: A judge orders Mr. and Mrs. Kane to undergo marriage counseling before he will approve their divorce request. They are forced to meet up in a small resort town.There will be no choice but to face all the things that tore them apart.





	1. Chapter 1

Abby knew she would be seeing Marcus, she didn't know how to feel about it. It had been at least a month since she last saw him. They had a schedule now, she dropped the kids off at school everyday, he picked them up. When Abby showed up to get them from his house, he sent them out without so much as stepping out on the porch, he didn't want to see her and she knew that. It broke her heart as did everything else that Marcus did lately.  
She flew in from Detroit where she had to spend three days for a medical seminar. Marcus flew in from Arkadia. Neither one of them wanted to do this and yet the judge ordered it so here they were. Abby's cab pulled up in front of the hotel. She paid the man and took her bags into the hotel, almost immediately she spotted him and froze.  
Marcus head was down towards the phone in his hand. His back to the rock wall. In front of him a small table with roses on it. He was breathtaking but wasn't he always, wasn't that what was had first drawn her to him? He sat there in a grey t-shirt, his dark thick wavy hair perfect. Without realizing just how perfect he was, he slid his hand through his hair. Abby stared at him, wondering how everything had just gotten so bad.  
This was the man who used to not be able to sleep unless she was by his side. And now this was the man who filed for divorce. This was the man who cried when they found out they were pregnant with their very first child, the man who held her hand as she went into labor and the man who couldn't stop smiling in the first few hours following Bellamy's birth. And now he was the man who didn't so much as want to look at her.  
So, instead she just stared a bit in jealousy as two women walked by and openly gaped at him. Jealous because he had every right to go off with them if he wanted too. And yet she noticed how he just sat there enthralled with his phone.  
She wondered if he was talking to a woman. He would have every right and somehow just the thought of it crushed her. He was still her husband and she still loved him. 

Marcus felt eyes on him and looked up, there was Abby, he could see her through the vase of roses. Her long cinnamon colored hair over her right shoulder as she stood in a red dress that hugged every perfect curve. He used to love showing her off, not because she was a trophy but because she was his. How many times had they walked in somewhere with his hand riding her hip, as she fit perfectly into his side? He was so sure it would always stay that way, certainly they would never be torn apart, certainly she would always love him. Yet, Marcus had been wrong, so completely wrong. Would he ever recover? He wasn't sure. Her eyes on him as his eyes moved over her. It took everything he had to look away. Marcus stood up and tugged his dark suitcase behind him. He walked to her without looking at her.  
"They wouldn't let me check in without you. We have to share a room, luckily it's a suite so maybe there is two rooms in it."  
"Ok." 

He headed back to the check in counter. A young man standing there who was eyeing Abby. Marcus had to remind himself that it was none of his business what Abby did or didn't do.  
"How can I help you?"  
The question annoyed Marcus. This was the same man who helped him thirty minutes before.  
"I need to check in for the marriage therapy."  
The man looked over at Abby.  
"Is this your lovely wife?"  
Abby swallowed hard and looked at Marcus.  
"She was."  
The man behind the counter smiled uncomfortably.  
"Your name please."  
"Marcus and Abigail Kane."  
"Great, you are in suite 505. Just sign here."  
Marcus signed the paperwork and was given two card keys. Marcus handed one to Abby, there fingers touching all too briefly as he quickly pulled his hand away. 

They walked in silence to the elevator, Abby pushed floor five and then they stayed quiet as the the metal box took them up to the fifth floor. Marcus put his key in the door and waited as the red light went to green. There was one bedroom, Marcus let out a small groan.  
"I'll sleep on the couch, you can take the room."  
"Thank you."  
She began to unpack. She had spent more than she should have on new clothes, she still had a need for Marcus to think she was beautiful. He used to tell her all the time. The last time he told her she was as she sat on their bed while wearing pajamas. Abby felt her heart began to shatter as she thought about, she missed him. Every single day she missed him. Only it was too late, he had told her more than once that there wasn't a chance that there would never be a chance again and still to this day it hurt. 

Marcus put his stuff in the hall closet, he hung up his shirts, left three different pairs of shoes on the floor of the closet. He took out a pair of pajama pants and a t-shirt. Their first meeting with the counselor was set up for nine in the morning. He went into the bathroom and brushed his teeth, he just wanted to go to sleep and not think about the woman he had once loved more than anything and how she would be sleeping in nothing more than a t-shirt and underwear in the next room. 

Abby put on a robe before walking out to where Marcus was sitting on the couch in the dark.  
"I just need to grab some water."  
Marcus pointed to the shelf.  
"Right there."  
Abby nodded in response.  
"Thank you."  
She reached out and grabbed a water bottle before turning. His dark eyes on her. A chill ran through her.  
"Goodnight Marcus."  
"Goodnight Abby."  
There was a time he would have pulled her onto his lap and told her not to go to bed without him.  
Abby felt the tears sting as she shut the door, leaving her husband too far away. 

to be continued


	2. Chapter 2

Marcus's back hurt, the couch was less than comfy. He stretched out his back before walking around in the suite. He had thought Abby had shut the door before she had gone to bed. Now it was sitting open. Abby was asleep on her stomach, he couldn't help but stare in at her as she softly snored.  
Of course she was only in underwear and a t-shirt, he had suspected as much and quite truthfully he didn't have to look in on her to know that was the exact position he would would find her.  
The moon cast just enough light so that he could look over her uncovered skin. He shouldn't be watching her, shouldn't let his eyes run over the spot where underwear met skin. How many times had his mouth traveled up her leg until he got to the smooth roundness of her backside? How many times had he gripped her hips while his teeth gently sank into her? And how many times did she moan his name as he did it? He shook his head and stared down at the floor, he told himself to walk away because in the end it didn't matter how attracted to her he was. What mattered was the damage that had been done.  
Marcus forced himself to walk away, to head back to the lonely couch where he couldn't suck the back of someone's neck and know that the hardness in his pants would soon be taken care of. No, that wasn't an option anymore.  
Instead he sat on the couch and put the heels of his palms against his eye sockets and rubbed. 

Abby woke up to the alarm, she was still tired, downright exhausted. Sleep had not come easy last night.  
It was easy to remember the times when they were happy, when he would offer to rub her back.  
Only the second his warm and calloused hands touched her, she grew warm. It wasn't long before she was telling him that she was in pain in other places.  
Marcus would laugh that playful laugh before he gave into her. Indeed she would sleep well after that. Abby wondered if there was any part of Marcus that missed her too. 

"There's coffee if you want some."  
He said it as he rubbed the back of his neck, when he saw her watching, he dropped his hand and turned from her.  
"Thank you for making it, Marcus."  
He shrugged before grabbing his clothes and heading to the bathroom.  
"No problem." 

They were quiet as they headed to the room on the first floor. They didn't sit side by side as they waited to be called in. No, instead they sat across the room from each other. Once again Marcus was staring down at his phone.  
Abby was nudged by the woman next to her. An older woman only by about ten years. Abby looked over at her, the woman was looking across the room.  
"That is a good looking man, I wouldn't mind some wife swapping right about now."  
Abby's mouth fell open.  
"The man in the black t-shirt?"  
The woman smiled.  
"Yes, the man in the black t-shirt with hair that looks like it was blessed by the God's."  
"That man is my husband."  
Abby was staring at the woman who smirked.  
"Doesn't look like he will be your husband for long if you are sitting all the way over here."  
Mrs. Kane knew the woman was right and yet still it hurt to hear. When a young blond woman stepped out of the large double doors, Abby stared at her, anything would be better than speaking to the older lady next to her.  
"Mr. and Mrs. Marcus Kane?"  
Only then did the estranged couple look at one another. Marcus dropped his eyes and walked towards the young woman who smiled at both of them.  
"Right this way."  
They followed her into an impressive office.  
"Please have a seat, Dr. Jaha will be right with you."  
"Thank you."  
They both said it as the woman walked out the door. Abby smoothed out her multi colored sundress and sat down. Marcus stayed quiet as he sat in the chair next to her.  
Several minutes passed before Jaha finally walked in.  
"Good morning. I was out on the lake this morning, have you guys had a chance to visit it yet?"  
"No. No,"  
They both answered as Jaha came to a stop in front of them.  
"I am Jaha. Don't add doctor in front of it, it makes me sound bigger than I am."  
He flashed a perfect smile at them as he shook both their hands. Jaha moved to a chair across the room in front of a couch.  
"This is a marriage situation so come on over."  
Marcus and Abby both moved to the small couch. They sat far apart. Jaha took notice of that as he placed a yellow notepad on his lap.  
"I have not looked over your questionnaire yet. I will tell you why. I like to meet a couple apart from that first and go from there. I watched you guys for about ten minutes before I came in. I can see that you guys are in a tough place. However, judging by all the stolen glances it seems to me that there could still be a lot to fight for here. I am going to ask a few questions and then I will give you guys your couple schedule for the day."  
Marcus cocked his head and stared at the man.  
"Couple schedule?"  
Jaha smiled.  
"Yes, Marcus. The couple schedule."  
Marcus looked from the doctor to Abby and then back at the doctor.  
"I under no circumstances will spend time with this woman."  
Abby's eyes shot to him.  
"There was a time you begged me to spend my days with you."  
He stared at the woman that he hoped would soon be his ex wife.  
"Well that time has long since passed has it not?"  
She looked hurt and he forced himself to look at the doctor.  
"Well I can send a letter to the judge and let him know that you are not helping in this matter."  
Marcus leaned back into the couch.  
"Fine."  
Abby sat with one hand covering her mouth, already the emotions feeling like too much.  
"So, let's get started with the questions. Abby, lets start with you. Tell me about the first time you met your husband."  
She was quiet for a long moment before she suddenly began to speak.  
"I was working at a bar. I was bar tending. I was mixing drinks when I saw him walk in with three other guys. He was easily the best looking one out of the group. He came up and ordered drinks. He asked me my name and then asked what time I would be off. I was almost done so I told him I would bring his drinks to him. It was frowned upon to hang out with the customers but when he asked if he could buy me a drink I said yes."  
Jaha nodded and then looked at Marcus.  
"Is that how you remember it?"  
Marcus nodded slowly.  
"That is the exact way I remember it."  
"Marcus how quickly did you fall in love with Abigail?"  
"Abby, she goes by Abby."  
"My apologies."  
Jaha nodded towards Abby who gave a half hearted smile.  
"I knew I loved her a couple of weeks later."  
"And why did you fall in love with her?"  
Marcus crossed his arms over his chest.  
"She worked hard to get through medical school, she was funny, sweet and she looked at me like she felt the same exact way."  
"Did you tell her right away that you loved hers?"  
Marcus only shook his head in response.  
"Abby when did you know you loved Marcus?"  
"I got sick, a really bad cold. He showed up with soup, bread and my favorite coffee. I probably loved him before that but it was that moment the solidified it."  
"Good you both responded in ways that show their is hope. Here is the plan for today. I will see you guys again tonight. It is important that you do everything on the list each and every day. There will be changes to each schedule, however meeting with me will always take place. You both get a copy. Here you are."  
He leaned forward and handed them the papers. 

"Day 1

Meet with Jaha - 9:00 - 10:15

Write down your favorite memories from your first year together - 10:30 - 11:00

Talk about your favorite memories from 11:00 - 12:00

Lunch together from 12:00 - 12:45 

Free time 12:45 - 2:00

Activity time of your choosing in gym 2:00 - 3:30

Clean up! 3:30 - 4:30

Date night for our couples 4:30 - 7:00

Meet back with Jaha 7:15 - 8:00

Kiss your spouse good night - take as much time as you want. 

"Kissing?"  
Jaha's eyes shot to Abby.  
"Yes Mrs. Kane. You and your husband will need to kiss goodnight each and every night. We will be discussing it each morning."  
"But he hasn't kissed me in a year."  
Marcus was staring at Jaha.  
"She is right, it has been at least a year."  
Jaha smiled and leaned forward in his chair.  
"Well then it seems to me that the kiss is long overdue. I hope that you will each look forward to your intimacy tonight."  
Marcus and Abby both sat with their mouths gaping open.  
"I don't know."  
"What don't you know Abby?"  
Jaha was speaking softly to her.  
"I know that he won't kiss me."  
"Then you will have to kiss him."  
She shook her head.  
"You don't understand."  
"What don't I understand?"  
Her voice began to shake.  
"He doesn't want to kiss me."  
"Why?"  
"Why doesn't he want to kiss me?"  
"Yes."  
"Because she kissed someone else!"  
Jaha and Abby both looked at Marcus.  
"She kissed someone else?"  
He nodded.  
"There is no point in talking about it."  
Marcus said it as his eyes drifted down to the paper in his hands.  
"I think there is a point of talking about it. Let me ask you this. Marcus have you kissed anyone else since you have been separated from your wife?"  
Marcus stayed silent for several seconds while the other two people in the room waited for his response. Abby felt scared, she wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer, wasn't sure she could handle it if he had. Not when she had never stopped loving the man next to her. Her heart was beating rapidly as she waited for him to speak.  
"Yes."  
Her heart fell.  
"Yes?"  
The question came from Abby, not from Jaha. Marcus looked over at her, he looked guilty.  
"Marcus, you kissed someone?"  
There was no hiding the emotion in her voice as she spoke, he heard it.  
"Yes."  
Abby stared down at the paper as the tears began to fall.  
"You have no right to be upset about this."  
He practically spat the words out. She nodded as she turned her head so that he wouldn't see her cry.  
"I know."  
She barely got the words out.  
"And yet it hurts anyway, is that right Mrs. Kane?"  
She wiped her eyes with the back of her hands and she tried without success to speak.  
"Yes."  
"Ok, well take all the time you need and then get to the second part of your day. I will see you both tonight."  
And with that Jaha got up and left. 

To be continued


	3. Chapter 3

They walked quietly to the elevator, once again going up to the room.  
Marcus stood with his arms crossed in front of his chest as they ascended.  
Abby couldn't hardly breathe. All she thought about was another woman pressed against her husband.  
He was correct, Abby had no right to be upset.  
She had no right, no right, no right.  
Abby repeated it in her head over and over and still her heart wouldn't cooperate.  
This was her husband. The man who she argued with about whose turn it was to do dishes.  
The man who made her crazy when he shaved and didn't clean out the sink,  
the person who would take her car to the gas station on Sunday nights and fill up her tank.  
This was the man who couldn't wait one more second as he pushed everything off his desk so that he could lay her on it.  
And another woman knew what it was like to be against him, to be in his arms, to smell his cologne, to hear his deep and ragged breathing.  
So, it didn't matter that she wasn't supposed to care because Abby felt angry and jealous and absolutely shattered.  
It would be so much easier if she didn't love him but she did and she knew that it wouldn't matter how many years had passed and how much distance he was determined to put between them, she would never stop loving Marcus. 

Marcus opened the door and they walked in. As promised there were papers and pens left on the coffee table so that they could write down their favorite memories from their first year together.  
They sat on opposite ends of the couch as they took on their mission in silence. Only Abby couldn't think of anything else, her mind was on her husband's lips and how someone else knew what it was like to taste him, to moan into him and to feel his teeth drag her bottom lip through them. Abby wondered if the woman had been half as turned on as Abby would get in those moments with Marcus.  
Suddenly as she was writing about how she liked when they got stuck under the patio at the park during a sudden rainstorm and how Marcus had put his arms around her to keep her warm, she looked over at him to where he was sitting cross legged on the couch with the notepad writing down his own memories. Abby looked him over, sitting in his faded blue jeans, Nike shoes and black t-shirt. He was clean shaven, a shame really, she had really liked the beard. His hair looking soft from being washed that morning, and Abby knew she shouldn't but in the end, it was as if she couldn't help herself.  
"Was it just a kiss?"  
He heard her, she could tell in the way he tensed up. The way his shoulders got closer to his neck as his eyes stayed glued to the paper that held their memories.  
"Marcus?"  
And in his silence the fear grew, she had asked the question because she wanted him to console her by saying it was just a kiss. Yet, there were pieces of her heart that she was sure that not even Marcus could glue back together if he remained silent much longer.  
"Marcus?"  
Her voice cracked, they both heard it. And then slowly, way too slowly her husband looked at her and then in the end looked back down at the paper because he couldn't watch her.  
"Abby, I know from experience what you are thinking. I can only tell you that it would be better to forget it."  
His wife was shaking her head, he didn't have to look at her to know. Hadn't their years together proven that he knew each one of her moves?  
"Oh my God....."  
She whispered it.  
"Abby......."  
He was looking at her hands as she wrung them, she was trying to hold it together. Marcus knew she was looking at him and still he couldn't look in her eyes. He wasn't sure why, he shouldn't have anything to feel guilty for. He left over a year ago, packed his stuff and found a house to rent. How he chose to spend his time was up to him.  
"Marcus, you slept with her. Didn't you? You slept with someone else."  
He ran his hands through his hair and he sighed and that was enough for her to know that he had answered the question without saying a single word. She gasped as if she was trying to get air that had been deprived from her for too long.  
"Oh my God! Oh my God!"  
She was shaking, her entire body shaking. Whoever the woman was she didn't just know what it was like to kiss Marcus, she knew what it was like to wrap her legs around him, to feel his mouth on her neck, to see his face when it was shattered by pleasure. Abby wished she could act like it didn't matter but it did. Damn it, he was her husband and she loved him.  
"Abby........You......"  
She glared at him as she stood up quickly.  
"I know, I don't have a right to be upset. I don't have a right to care that you made love to another woman. Why couldn't you just forgive me? Why couldn't you just get over one stupid kiss and forgive me? We could have been happy. We could have had the life we both wanted!"  
Marcus jumped up and faced her, finally looking at her.  
"Don't! Don't do that! You kissed my friend! You kissed Jake Griffin. Do you know what that did to me? How I thought about it over and over?......."  
Marcus was shaking, the vein in his head popping out as his eyes grew wide.  
"I couldn't just get over it. What I thought about was another mans hands on my wife! I thought about it all the time. I still think about it. You! The woman who stood in front of our family and friends and promised to be faithful! Don't you remember that part?"  
She met his furry.  
"Yes! I remember all of it! I am the one who came to you and told you what happened with Jake. I begged you to forgive me! I begged you and instead you left! You left me! I didn't leave you. I still wanted you, Marcus! You think I blamed you for everything and I didn't. You left me alone for months before Jake Griffin kissed me. You made me feel like I had to go through all of it alone!"  
He stared at her like she was half insane.  
"Don't bring that up! Leave it alone!"  
"I can't leave it alone because before that we were so happy. We. Were. Happy!"  
He turned so that he wasn't facing her. She didn't stop him as he grabbed a glass and poured himself a scotch and she didn't stop him as he finished the glass in one gulp and poured himself another."  
When he spoke he was speaking with a calm that only the scotch could bring.  
"You make it all seem so easy, Abby. You make it seem like I should just blink and I shouldn't hurt anymore. Not only was I only going through a hellish time but then you come to my office in tears and told me that you and Jake kissed."  
He shook his head as if he was in complete disgust. Abby didn't let him off the hook.  
"Right there, Marcus. You keep saying 'I'. How many times do you need to be reminded that you weren't the only one hurting. I was broken too and I needed you. Marcus, I needed you and you abandoned me......"  
"I did no such thing!"  
His voice vibrated off the walls almost scaring her and yet she wouldn't back down.  
"You did. You wouldn't touch me in the slightest. It wasn't just about the fact that you wouldn't have sex with me, Marcus. You wouldn't so much as hold my hand. You wouldn't even hold me. Not even when you walked in and saw me crying on the bathroom floor. No, my husband turned and walked the other way. But you held her didn't you? You weren't turned off by her."  
"I was never turned off by you! I couldn't hold you, Abby. I couldn't kiss you and I couldn't make love to you because all I saw was that day, that day at the pool. How could I possibly come to you for comfort? I don't want to talk about this anymore."  
"Who was it Marcus? The woman, who was it?"  
"It doesn't matter."  
"It matters to me."  
"Let it go."  
She shook her head at that.  
"You couldn't let it go when I had one stupid kiss with someone else and yet you slept with another woman and I am supposed to let that go?"  
They stayed quiet for a minute as he took another drink of his scotch. Abby stared at his profile as he stared off at the wall.  
"Ohhhhhh........"  
He glanced at her when he heard her and then looked down at his feet.  
"Do you love her? Is that it?"  
He let out a humorless laugh.  
"No, that isn't it at all."  
"Then why are you hiding it?"  
He turned and looked at her, a flash of anger in his eyes.  
"Diana Sydney."  
Abby gasped, that hurt more than if he had said any other name. The slap knocked him backwards as Abby's right palm connected to his face. A hand print red and swollen on his face. The sobs ripped through her as she ran to the room and slammed the door. She collapsed on the floor in a heap as the pain ripped through her. Once again crying alone and knowing that her husband wasn't coming for her. 

Marcus threw his glass against the wall, not caring that the sound of glass breaking was loud enough to echo in the hall.  
He fell back against the couch, the image of Abby breaking into a million pieces somehow louder than the breaking glass.  
There should be no guilt in how he dealt with his pain and loneliness and somehow he still felt like an asshole.  
And he felt guilty for all the times he didn't hold his grieving wife when he should have and he felt guilty for turning his back for one second while his four year old daughter drowned in the pool. 

To be continued


	4. Chapter 4

The knock on the door woke Abby up, she had cried herself to sleep.   
"Mrs. Kane? It's Jaha. Marcus called me."   
"Hang on."   
She threw back the covers on the bed, she threw on jeans and a t-shirt, the dress had become far too wrinkled after her sleep. Abby quickly brushed out her hair and brushed her teeth. There wasn't much she could do about her swollen and red eyes. Abby took a deep breath before stepping out of the bedroom. Marcus was sitting on the couch while Jaha sat in the chair that he had positioned in front of the couch.   
Both of the men looked up at her.   
"Abby, your husband called me. I understand that the two of you hashed some stuff out. Why don't you both have a seat."   
Marcus had a seat after Abby sat down, pulling her knees up into her chest, something she had always done when she was sad.  
"Abby, can you tell me about the day that your daughter died."   
Marcus swallowed hard, not wanting to relive it and definitely didn't want to hear Abby have to go through it again.   
When Abby spoke, her voice was quiet as he mind when back to that warm summer day in July. She glanced at Marcus before looking at Jaha and then down at her hands.   
"I had to work and Marcus had the day off. He was going to stay with the kids, we both took raising them ourselves very seriously so if one of us could be with them, we always did just that. Bellamy was six and Clarke was four.........."   
Jaha waited patiently and then only after several moments did she speak again.   
"Marcus and I hadn't had much time together, we barely saw each other. I found out that my last two appointments were canceled and I was going to get to go home and spend time with my kids and my husband........."   
Jaha watched as her eyes began to tear up.   
"Did you go home?"   
She shook her head.   
"I called him, I called my husband......"   
She covered her face as if she couldn't continue.   
"Marcus why don't you tell me what happened."   
He was staring at Abby, wishing he could change the past and knowing full well that he never could.   
"Bellamy and Clarke were in the pool. I heard the phone ring in the house and I ran to get it......I shouldn't have gone in."   
Marcus stared off at some unseen thing.   
"Marcus tell me what happened when you went inside."   
"I picked up the phone and it was Abby. She told me she was coming home.......and um........"   
"And what, Mr. Kane?"   
Marcus shook his head.   
"We were flirting on the phone.. I looked up and realized Bellamy was in the house. I froze......"   
"Why did you freeze?"   
Marcus began to shake.   
"Because I knew Clarke was alone. That I had left her alone......."   
He began to speak with a hoarse voice as he found that he couldn't continue.   
"Abby?"   
She looked at Jaha who nodded for her to pick up the story.   
"I heard Marcus whisper our daughter's name and then he was yelling and I heard Bellamy ask his dad what was wrong."   
"Marcus, what happened after that?"   
He put both hands on his head as he tried to talk.   
"She had on floaties. They were supposed to keep her above water. I ran out and she was at the bottom, face down.........I jumped in...........begging her to breathe.......I put her on the picnic table.......I'm a cop........I know how to help people............but........she.....was.......Clarke was blue."   
"Abby, what did you do after Marcus screamed?"   
"I rushed home. I called 9-1-1 and rushed home."   
"How did you know to call the emergency number?"   
"I know my husband and I knew that something bad had taken place."  
"And what happened in the days remaining?"   
Both Marcus and Abby sat quiet.   
"Let's start with you, Marcus."   
He shook his head and then leaned his head back against the couch.   
"We had to make funeral arrangements, we had to bury our daughter."   
"I get that part, Marcus. I want to know about you. What took place with you."   
Marcus looked at Jaha.   
"I don't understand the question."   
"I think you do. How did you feel?"   
"I was sad."   
The answer was sarcastic.   
"I would imagine so, but how did you feel about yourself?"   
Abby watched Marcus as he ran his hands down his face.   
"I had to watch my wife fall apart and watch my son go into a deep confusion. Not to mention all the neighbors and all the comments about how I was irresponsible. How do you think I felt?"   
Jaha nodded slowly.   
"I don't know how you felt, I have never been through it. Please Marcus, tell me how you felt."   
"I let my family down! I left my daughter alone so that I could tell my wife that I missed her and wanted to have sex with her. How do you think I felt? I killed my own child!"   
as quickly as he began to yell, he stopped and dug the heel of his hands into the sockets of his eyes.   
"Abby? Do you blame Marcus?"   
She shook her head as she watched her husband.   
"Not even a little bit. I never once blamed him."   
Abby was crying as she thought of Marcus and how the guilt that he never should have had tore them apart.   
"Did you blame anyone?"   
Her eyes were still on Marcus.   
"I blamed myself. I blamed myself for calling my husband and saying the things I did to him that distracted him from Clarke."   
Marcus turned his head where it was on the back of the couch so that he could look at her. For the first time they made eye contact and it wasn't filled with anger. He was really listening to her as she spoke.   
"It wasn't your fault, Abby."   
He lifted his head as he looked at his wife. Somehow hearing his words made her break. Abby knew the things she had said that day to him on the phone, the things that a woman wouldn't say to a man unless she was in love with him. Things that embarrassed her now because that same man had never touched her one time after that day. So of course it was her fault, of course he blamed her. And now he was telling her it wasn't her fault. And again for the second time that day, she found herself crying. Abby buried her face in her hands as the tears fell.   
Feeling Marcus's arms slide around her shocked her and yet she didn't fight him, she would never fight him. Marcus didn't think twice about it. He knew guilt, he knew it like a second skin and the thought of Abby living with it was too much for him. So, it wasn't a choice to slide across the couch and pull her to him, the second her head hit his chest, she gripped his black t-shirt in her hands. For the first time in a year, he held his wife.   
Jaha stood.   
"I will see the two of you at nine in the morning. Good night."   
The man let himself out as Marcus had one hand curved against her head and the other on her back.   
"I never blamed you, Abby. I only blamed myself."   
She shook her head against him.   
"It wasn't your fault. It wasn't. I know we can't ever get back to where we were, Marcus. We can't go on acting like we hate each other."   
"I don't hate you."   
"Marcus.........you don't even come out on your porch when I pick up the kids."   
"It was too hard to know that you had moved on with someone else, Abby."   
She laughed a sad little laugh.   
"I didn't move on. I know you don't believe me but that kiss with Jake meant nothing. I came to you because I didn't want anything in between us and I......"   
"And you what?"   
She shook her head and then released herself from the warmth of her husband's arms. Marcus instantly missed her.   
"Nevermind......"   
"Abby?"   
He had stood up and gently grabbed her arm to force her to look at him.   
"It doesn't matter."   
"Please?"   
She was firmly pressed against him, there was a part of her that was sure he would kiss her and she would be lying if she didn't say that she desperately wanted him to. His breath was against her face and God she had missed those scotch laced kisses.   
"Why Diana, Marcus?"   
"Because I thought it would make me feel better."   
"Did it make you feel better?"   
His eyes traveled down to her lips before looking her squarely in the eye. His hand still gripping her arm as he held her in place.   
"No......"   
He said it in a harsh whisper.   
"Abby, it didn't make me feel better at all. It made me feel worse."   
It relieved her to hear that. It helped to know that he didn't love the woman that had been Abby's enemy for most of her life.   
"Was she the only one?"   
"Yes, the only one. Only one time. I didn't allow it again after that."   
She was aware that his breathing had completely changed. Abby wished it didn't turn her on so much. It was so confusing to be talking about this and want him so much at the same time. Marcus wanted to kiss her, to drag her down on the couch and yet he wouldn't not without knowing where they stood and he knew that would be a long conversation that she looked too tired to have. He saw a flicker of a smile tug at her lips.   
"That helps to know. But why her?"   
He shook his head.   
"I was drinking, she showed up at my house late at night. It happened. Abby, she didn't even stay afterwards, I didn't let her. I didn't want her too. I felt awful after......"   
She could see that he was telling the truth.   
"One night stands has never been your thing."   
His eyes were dark and heavy, she knew that look. She wished she was brave enough to ask him to kiss her and yet after everything she couldn't find the courage.   
"No, Abby, it hasn't. What were you going to say before. You came to me to tell me about the kiss and something else."   
"I told you because....."   
He let go of her when she tugged her arm. It was going to make her too vulnerable once she told him. So, instead he watched as she walked to her room.   
"Abby?"   
She ran her shaky hands over her hair, stopping just outside her bedroom door. Finally her brown eyes shot to his caramel colored ones.   
"I had hoped you would be jealous and that maybe you would want me again."   
and then she disappeared into her room and shut the door. 

to be continued


	5. Chapter 5

Abby woke up before Marcus, what she didn’t know was that he hadn’t slept well the night before. His thoughts about his wife had overran his mind the night before. Sleep was lost to him regardless of how hard he tried.  
She couldn’t help but watch him for a few stolen moments while she turned on the coffee pot and waited for it to warm up. He was on his side, no shirt on. Damn! How many times had she bit into that shoulder? Hadn’t it always been something that turned them both on when she sank her teeth into his collarbone? How many times had she run her tongue over the pulse point in his neck? Hadn’t it made him moan every single time as she dragged her teeth over it before sucking the skin in between her lips? How was it that even after all these years she was still so effected by him? She wondered if there was any chance that he ever missed her, she imagined not. It made her sad but then again hadn’t she seen his eyes grow dark the night before? Abby knew her husband and knew the tell tell signs of when he wanted her and last night he gave off those signs more than once. Abby had half hoped that he would walk into that room and kiss her and then lay down beside her. But he hadn’t so much as knocked on the door.  
Marcus let out a sigh, a sure sign that he was about to wake up, she didn’t want to be caught watching him, she turned around and faced the coffee pot. Abby could hear him moving behind her. She took a deep breath and tried not to think about the way he was probably arching his back before he sat up on the edge of the couch, rubbed the back of his neck and then rubbed his hands down his face. How many times had she sat behind him on the bed and kissed his back. So many times he had given into her and made love to her despite the fact that it meant that one or both of them would end up being late. In the end neither of them would care.  
“Good morning.”  
His voice still sounded tired.  
“Good morning, Marcus.”  
She didn’t dare turn around and look at him, his hair would be messy and that would make the heat rush through her. Abby hated that she missed him.  
“How did you sleep, Abby?”  
“Great…………”  
She was lying  
“How about you, Marcus?”  
“Fantastic.”  
He too was lying and they both knew it.  
“We have to meet with Jaha in an hour.”  
“I will go take a shower.”  
“I made coffee, do you want some?”  
She knew he was standing, Abby didn’t have to look back to have it confirmed, the heat of him standing near her was enough of a way to know.  
“I would love some.”  
She hit the button and listened as the coffee poured into the black hotel cup. Abby glanced back at him, his eyes were on her, she was sure they were on her backside, he had always been somewhat fond of letting his eyes drag over her. Abby’s mouth fell open and then his eyes dragged back up until they reached her face, they locked on her lips before he finally let his eyes stay glued on hers. The heat rose in her cheeks.  
“I think your coffee is ready.”  
She turned back to the coffee pot and carefully grabbed his coffee. Abby handed it to him. Their fingers briefly touching.  
“Here you are.”  
“Thank you.”  
He turned with the coffee in his hands and headed to the bathroom.  
“You look beautiful by the way, Abby.”  
She blushed even though he couldn’t see her.  
“Thank you, Marcus.” 

“Good morning to both of you. Thanks for being on time.”  
Marcus and Abby both nodded at Jaha. They were both sitting on the couch, not quite together and not as far apart as the day before.  
“Did you guys kiss goodnight last night?”  
They both swallowed hard.  
“No.”  
They said it unison. Jaha nodded slowly before speaking.  
“Well considering that you Marcus hugged her when she was crying, I would say that is a great start. Abby, tell me about a couple of your favorite memories regarding Marcus.”  
She shook her head and rubbed her palms on her pant legs. She suddenly felt nervous and embarrassed.  
“When we had been together for a few months, Marcus took me to the mountains and to this little cabin. It was so beautiful, just this little one bedroom place……….”  
She stared at her hands and yet it was like she was staring back into that cabin.  
“He took me to the little restaurant and it had this dance floor. When he asked me to dance, it shocked me, he had only danced with me privately. So, it made me really happy when he didn’t seem to care that there were other couples there. I didn’t even know he could sing at that point. So, I took his hand and followed him to the dance floor…………”  
Abby smiled more to herself, completely unaware that Marcus was watching her as she relived the memory.  
“And then he put his arms around me and pulled me close to him, it stole my breath. And then this Bob Seger song came on, ‘We’ve got Tonight.’……..”  
Abby let out a small laugh as she smiled.  
“Marcus sing it to me, directly into my ear. He hit every note perfectly. I was so sure I would die if he didn’t kiss me and then as the song ended, he did. That is my favorite memory of our first year.”  
Jaha nodded, Marcus only took his eyes off of his wife as Jaha addressed him.  
“Marcus, can you tell me about your favorite memory?”  
He nodded slowly.  
“Um……..it was that same weekend actually. We hadn’t spent a weekend together up until that point. I wasn’t really sure what to expect exactly. I mean I knew we were going to be intimate and I suppose I was looking forward to that part the most but it wasn’t what stuck out the most. What stuck out the most was waking up in the morning. I heard this music playing. It wasn’t crazy loud or anything like that. It just kind of drifted through the air and into the room. I could smell bacon being cooked and the smell of coffee. I remember smiling to myself. I was smiling because of the night before on that dance floor, how things unfolded when we got back to that tiny one room cabin. I smiled because her dress was still half on the chair from where I had thrown it……..”  
Marcus swallowed hard before he continued. This time it was Abby who was staring at him.  
“So, I got up and threw on pajama pants and went out to where I knew she would be. Only I froze when I saw her. Abby had her hair up in the messiest pony tail I had ever seen and she looked more beautiful then I had ever seen her ever before. She was wearing my red t-shirt, it was big on her, only reaching her thigs and I couldn’t stop staring. There was something about her standing there in my shirt from the night before. Abby was dancing……..”  
He smiled as he recalled the scene.  
“She was cooking and dancing and I couldn’t stop myself, I just grabbed her and kissed her. I kissed her until the fire alarm went off and after I ripped the fire alarm out of the ceiling, I carried her to bed and I knew then that one day I would beg her to be my wife. If I could see her like that every day, then she was the one that I wanted to be with.”  
Jaha smiled.  
“Well the good news is that if there was no hope for your marriage then you guys wouldn’t have told be such beautiful memories. Now, I have a question, in your bios it says that you have three children. I know about Bellamy and Clarke, where is the third?”  
Marcus spoke  
“Octavia, she was born three months after Clarke’s death.”  
Jaha looked to Abby.  
“You were pregnant when your daughter died?”  
“Yes.”  
“Who are the children with now?”  
“They are with my mother.”  
Jaha looked over at Marcus.  
“Can your mother fly them here?”  
“I suppose, why?”  
“You will see. In the mean time I want you both to go back to the room and write down your favorite memories from the second to fifth years together. And don’t forget that tonight you will be kissing goodnight.”

To be continued...........


	6. Chapter 6

Abby sat with her legs tucked under her in the recliner. Marcus was on his cellphone, stealing glances at her as he listened to his mother. His wife had always looked good in red and somehow in that sundress she was downright stunning and she seemed to have no idea. Her hair was up in a ponytail, reminding him of that cabin all those years ago.   
“Thank you, Mom. Yes, I can talk to him.”   
Abby looked up, she was waiting to talk to Bellamy. Marcus nodded at her to let her know he had not forgotten to pass the phone to her.   
“Hi Bell, how is everything?”   
Abby couldn’t hear what her seven year old was saying.   
“Sushi? Did you like it?”   
Marcus sat down on the couch.   
“No, I don’t like it, never have, never will. How is your sister?”   
She watched the way he stared down at the floor as he listened intently to their son.   
“Well, she walks now. She is going to be wobbly for awhile. I am going to put your mom on the phone, she wants to talk to you.”   
Marcus looked at Abby as he handed her the phone. Abby stared into his eyes as she took his phone.   
“Hi honey!”   
Her son got excited to hear her voice.   
“Mommy! I get to see you in two more nights.”   
Marcus watched as she smiled at whatever it was Bell was saying.   
“I know, I can’t wait to see you and Octavia.”   
“And Grandma! You will get to see my Grandma!”   
She laughed  
“Yes, I am very excited to see your grandma.”   
“Do you miss me?”   
“I miss you and your sister very much.”   
“Are you and daddy having fun?”   
“I don’t know if were having fun but we are getting some stuff taken care of.”   
Marcus leaned his head back against the couch and watched her, she was too focused on her call with Bell to notice him. There was something beautiful about Abby as she went into mom mode, she was good at it. This was the first time in months that he had been able to witness her talking to their oldest child. Abby was a good mom, the best in fact. She could be maternal and stern all at the same time and no matter what she said or did it was always topped off with a lot of love.  
“Alright well, I will put your daddy back on. I love you.”   
“Love you too, mommy.”   
She handed Marcus back his phone.   
“Bell, I love you, let me talk to your grandma.”   
Vera got back on the phone, Marcus was grateful for the way she loved his children.  
“Octavia is sleeping, Marcus, I’m sure she would have loved to hear your voices. She is missing both of you.”   
“How’s her rash?”   
“It’s better, I kept the diaper off of her for awhile. I put the cream on her and the powder before I put her down to bed.”   
“Clarke used to get them like that too. Well kiss both of them for us and we will see you soon. Abby and I will get you guys from the airport.”   
“I hope that you two will have good news for me when I get there.”   
Marcus knew that his mother had wanted him and Abby to work things out.   
“Mom, just don’t get your hopes up.”   
“I can’t help it, honey, they already are.”   
Marcus couldn’t help but smile at his mother and her hopeful ways.   
“Love you, mom. I will see you and the kids soon.”   
He clicked his phone off. 

Abby was looking up at him as he clicked off his phone.   
“We should keep Octavia off the cranberry juice, maybe it’s too harsh for her stomach.”   
“I’ll text my mom and tell her.”   
He sat down on the couch as he sent the message off to his mother.  
“Abby, what do you want to do for lunch? We are supposed to eat together.”   
“We can order something.”   
“Turkey sandwich?”   
She smiled at she looked at him.   
“You know how I love my turkey sandwiches.”   
“Yes, I do. Let me call.”   
It felt confusing how domestic everything felt. How they hadn’t spent any time together in months and now he was ordering them food. His back was to her as he picked up the hotel phone and put it to his ear. Marcus in Levi’s was a sight to behold. As if he worked out just for the idea of putting on those exact pair of jeans. The dark blue fabric fit him in such a way that he almost looked like a man from the old west, Abby found herself staring at the way they fit around his hips and ass.  
The brown belt only seem to add to the sexiness somehow as it held his white crisp button up shirt in place as the shirt was tucked into his jeans. She let her eyes drag over him and she wished visions of Diana didn’t flash through her mind. Suddenly he turned and Abby looked down quickly to her notepad that was on her lap.   
It was too late, he had caught her. Marcus stared at her as a smirk moved over his lips. He wasn’t going to give her a hard time about it. He wanted too and yet he knew they weren’t in a place where he could bring it up. There was still too much tension.   
He hung up.   
“Food will be here shortly.”   
“Thank you, Marcus.”   
He stretched out on the couch and laid down on his back.   
“Are you alright, Marcus?”   
“I’m tired.”   
“Sleep. I’ll wake you when the food comes.”   
He looked at her and gave Abby a quick smile before he let his eyes close.  
Marcus thought back to all the times when they would fit together on the couch, her body heat mixed with his always helped him to drift off to sleep. There had been a time when he didn’t even want to sleep without her and then some how and against his will, he had gotten used to sleeping alone again. It wasn’t that he had wanted to get used to it, he didn’t. No, he had been forced to deal with it. And now she was sitting a few feet away, the sound of her slight breathing enough of a comfort, enough of some faint thing that made him feel safe and content even if it wasn’t exactly the way he wanted to be in the room with her, no he had wanted to ask her to lay next to him, to put his head against her chest, hear the sound of her heartbeat as she wrapped her arms around him and delved one of her hands into his hair as her fingertips moved over his scalp as he drifted off to sleep with the smell of her perfume moving over him and reminding him that there were perfect moments in the world.   
He couldn’t have that though.   
He had lost that when he forgot about Clarke.   
He had lost it when he let the loneliness overtake him and he gave into Diana.   
And now he would always be left alone sleeping on the couch. 

 

Abby listened as his breathing changed and he gave into sleep. She wasn’t sure why it made her sad. Wasn’t sure why her husband sleeping on the couch tore at something in her. Perhaps it was the fact that she just wanted to be next to him. Abby wanted to put her nose in the crook of his neck and breathe. Marcus had this scent that engulfed her and practically made her drunk. Being drunk on her husband had always been something that made her feel lucky. Abby shook her head and tried not to keep her eyes on him and in the end she found herself staring at his lips.   
Abby sighed as she thought of all the times those rough lips grazed hers, he had the ability to kiss her softly and move her and tonight she would feel his lips again.   
The thought of so many heated kisses between them sent heat running through her veins and her breathing responding rapidly just at the thought of him and his mouth.   
Marcus was a man who was talented with his mouth.   
What would happen right now if she straddled him?   
What would happen if she pulled his shirt out of those jeans?   
And what would happen if she unfastened his belt?   
The knock at the door startled her.   
She put her notepad down and moved to the door. 

“Marcus?”   
“Marcus?”   
He slowly opened his eyes, Abby was sitting next to him on the couch. He gave her a small smile.   
“I’m sorry for waking you up.”   
“It’s ok. What’s wrong?”   
“Nothing, the food is here.”   
She didn’t move, just kept staring down at him. Marcus wanted to reach out and touch her, to move the one piece of hair that had fallen out of the pony tail. He had to tighten his fist so that he wouldn’t do it.   
“I’ll get you your B.L.T.”   
And just like that she was up and off the couch. Marcus slowly sat up and watched her, kicking himself for not touching her. He kept his eyes on her when she came back with his sandwich, she saw him watching her and she watched as his eyes moved unashamed over her slowly. Abby swallowed hard as she sat the food down in front of him. Her entire body seemed to flush as she moved away from him.  
“Thank you, Abby.”   
She nodded without looking at him.   
“You’re welcome, Marcus.”   
“Abby, do you want to go to the Mexican restaurant downstairs for our date tonight?”   
She smiled at his choice of words.  
“I’d love to, Marcus.”   
She knew it was a forced date and still the butterflies filled her stomach, not sure if it was because of his presence in the room or the thought of being out in public with him that send everyone of her nerves begging to be touched by him. All that mattered was that she had this time with her husband and maybe he would remember how everything had been when they had been so completely in love.

To be continued.


	7. Chapter 7

Marcus let the water run over him. He was supposed to take his wife on a date. How was he supposed to do that? He didn’t even know how to hold her hand anymore and yet he was supposed to take her on a date. It all seemed like too much. There was a time that he could plan a date and take Abby out and she would smile because he had planned it. The water was hot and perfect and this was the first time ever that him and his wife were sharing a hotel room and she wasn’t going to be stepping into the shower naked with him.  
He sighed as the water ran down his face, Marcus turned around and leaned his forehead against the shower tile. It was cold and a good contrast from the heat of the water. The fact that he wanted her only seemed to make it worse, the tension was too much. He had no right to Abby anymore and the reason for that was too much to bare. So, instead of thinking about it, he washed the soap out of his hair and stepped out of the shower.  
He had to get dressed in the bathroom, it wasn’t small and yet he had always set his clothes on the bed and got dressed while he watched television. Now, he got dressed in the bathroom because he no longer was allowed to see his wife naked. How stupid! He let out a grunt. He was frustrated and the last time he had had sex it wasn’t all that good anyway. He felt like a man on the edge and the one woman he wanted was the one woman he wasn’t allowed to touch anymore. 

Abby was standing in the bedroom, in a purple dress that hugged every curve. It was new, one of the outfits that she had purchased with her husband in mind. Looking back, it was a bad idea. The slit went a little too high, her hair was a little too curly, she looked like she had spent time on herself just for him, which she did…….but the thought of him knowing that and not reciprocating her feelings felt harsh. It was enough to make her chest tighten and the tears threaten to make themselves known. 

And then the bathroom door opened and out walked Marcus. It was enough to make Abby’s mouth water. Marcus Kane in black slacks, a black button up dress shirt with the top two buttons undone. His hair wet and only finger combed back. How many times had she told him that she thought that was when he was sexiest? Marcus hung up his towel, something he had always done and then he moved to the sink, completely oblivious to the fact that she was standing there, he had no idea that he was being watched. Marcus grabbed his after shave and doused it on his hands before rubbing his hands together and then applying it to his neck. Everything inside Abby grew hot, she loved that aftershave and she knew even before she watched him do it that he would spray it on his neck and chest and that was exactly where she was imagining her mouth. 

And then her husband looked up and at her.  
Marcus clutched the cologne bottle as his eyes ran over her.  
Abby’s whole body seemed to flush under his gaze, worried that he thought she had done too much.  
His eyes dark and heavy as they landed on the swell of her breasts. Marcus wasn’t a man who needed to be reminded that his wife was beautiful, he had thought that from the second he had first laid eyes on her.  
“Sorry, I was finishing up with my hair.”  
He was still running his eyes over her as she spoke, his eyes suddenly shot up to hers.  
“No, it’s fine. It is your room.”  
“I’m done though. I’ll be in the other room.”  
Abby turned, her long legs looking remarkable in black heels, Marcus’s eyes on her rump as she left the room.

“Are you ready?”  
Marcus’s hair was mostly dry, the end were still damp and Abby found herself wanting to run her fingers through his thick dark waves. Abby gave a slight smile.  
“Yes, I’m ready.”  
They walked out the door and into the elevator together, standing apart as another couple stood close together, obviously wanting to be alone. Marcus found himself jealous as the woman ran her fingertips over the man’s back. It was something that Abby used to do to him. He felt the lump in his throat. He shook it off, he was used to trying to shake the pain off.  
The elevator stopped and the couple stepped out.  
Marcus and Abby stayed quiet as the elevator continued. When it came to a stop, Marcus put out his arm without thinking and Abby froze momentarily before putting her hand around it.  
They both felt the electric shock course through them. Marcus moved them towards the hostess.  
“Reservation for Kane.”  
The woman smiled.  
“Great, right this way.”  
They moved through the tables and were seated outside. Abby had always been a people watcher and had enjoyed being outside.  
“You reserved a table outside?”  
He stood behind her as she sat down before pushing the chair in and taking his seat.  
“Yes.”  
He looked across at her, there was that look in her eyes that made it appear that her eyes were shining and his stomach almost flipped.  
“Thank you, Marcus.”  
He didn’t move, just kept his eyes on hers. The intensity of his stare sent chills up and down her back. Abby swallowed and tried to breathe. When he spoke his eyes moved from her eyes to her lips and then back to her eyes.  
“You’re welcome, Abby. This is the least I could do.”  
“Your drinks, Sir.”  
The waiter set a beer in front of Marcus and what appeared to be a soda in front of Abby.  
“It’s coconut rum and coke.”  
Marcus nodded towards the drink when he said it. Something about him remembering her favorite drink made her smile, he watched her take a sip as his lips came in contact with his cold beer.  
The waiter walked away leaving Marcus and Abby alone.  
“Marcus?”  
He didn’t say anything, he just arched her eyebrow in response.  
“What do you mean that this is the least you could do?”  
The waiter was back before he could respond.  
“Can I take your orders?”  
They ordered and then were left alone again.  
“I just meant that you deserve for me to be kind to you.”  
His words shouldn’t hurt, they shouldn’t make her sad. Yet, they did. This was all just so he could be nice to her. Abby only nodded and then took a long drink, wishing the alcohol could numb her. Abby wanted to kick herself, of course he was only doing this because it was required of him. It was required that they try or they couldn’t get the divorce that he wanted.  
“Abby, did I say something wrong?”  
She gave this quickest shake of her head without looking at him, instead she stared out at the water of the lake. Abby told herself not to cry, to not give into the pain she felt radiating in her chest.  
“I said something wrong. What, Abby? Just tell me.”  
This time she looked across at him and he saw the pain in her eyes and yet was completely unsure of what he did. He moved so quickly that she didn’t have time to comprehend what he was doing until he was in the seat next to her and had his hand on hers. Her breathing changed immediately. She didn’t want to want him, she didn’t want him to be able to have an effect on her.  
“Abby, what did I do exactly?”  
“This dinner, all of this, is it only so you can be granted the divorce?”  
He looked down at his hand where it laid on top of hers.  
“I don’t know what any of this means, Abby. I don’t even know how to answer that.”  
She let out a sigh as the tears started to win. Abby didn’t want to look at him, she was so sick of loving someone who didn’t want her in return.  
“It’s a simple yes or no question.”  
He shook his head.  
“Is it, Abby? Simple yes or no?”  
She wiped a tear away with her free hand.  
“Just explain all this to me. Just explain to me how we went from the people we were to me a being a woman who let someone else kiss me and you being a man who fell into bed with another woman.”  
He leaned forward in his chair, his elbows on his knees as he took her hand in both of his. Marcus leaned his forehead against the back of her hand, Abby wanted to touch his hair with her free hand and yet she stopped herself.  
“It’s not a simple yes or no question……”  
He took a deep breath, keeping his head bowed as he spoke softly, she leaned in to hear him.  
“………I don’t love Diana, it was never even a question of that. It was an awful lonely mistake. And as for this, it isn’t yes or no. It’s that I wish things were different. I wish our daughter was alive and that I wasn’t the one that killed her………”  
She knew he was choking up, Abby could since it as his hands shook against hers. And then Abby couldn’t help herself as her free hands touched his face and her lips were in his hair.  
“You have to stop blaming yourself, Marcus. I have never blamed you.”  
“But you should, Abby. You should. That is why we can’t ever go back to what we were.”  
And then he looked at her with such a broken soul that Abby felt her heart rip in two. He let go of her hand and stared at her.  
“So, all of this, Marcus…….all of this, the hotel, the counseling and dinner……it’s all just so you can have the divorce?”  
“You deserve so much more than to be with the man who let our child die.”  
He stood up and moved back to his seat. Abby couldn’t breathe. She wanted to hold him, to be next to him, to console him and yet she had lost him because he was so busy blaming himself. 

They ate in silence, not another word spoken. Marcus paid the bill when they were finished, they moved back into the elevator where another couple wasvbusy snuggling and stealing kisses. And yet Marcus and Abby would go back up into the room where they would sleep separately. Both sure that the sexual part of their lives were over with only memories to sustain them. 

Marcus opened the door, Abby whispered a soft ‘goodnight’ as she started to walk to the room. Her husband grabbing her arm and pulling her back to him was not what she had expected. Abby was flush against him, her breathing ragged as his lips were only a breath away from hers.  
“You deserve more, Abby.”  
His chest was heaving against hers. He saw the tears in her eyes, the tears that he knew he had put there.  
“I want my husband.”  
“Abby……..”  
He barely got her name off his lips as his thumb ran across her lips. Their breathing seemed to echo off the walls.  
“I never blamed you. Marcus, I never blamed you.”  
And then his eyes filled with tears that matched her own.  
“You should blame me. I was so busy telling you all the things that I wanted to do to you while our daughter was dying.”  
Abby took his face in her hands.  
“It was a mistake, Marcus. It was a mistake.”  
Suddenly he turned away from her.  
“Go to bed, Abby.”  
“No.”  
He sat on the couch, letting his head fall against the back.  
“Abby, please, just go.”  
She shook her head as she walked over to him.  
“Marcus, you are being a fool. You are being a fool.”  
He looked up at her.  
“How?”  
“Are you going to punish me forever because you blame yourself?”  
His eyes flashed with anger as he looked up at her.  
“What does that mean?”  
“I love you, Marcus. I ache because I love you so much and yet I can’t have you because you hate yourself and that isn’t fair to either one of us.”  
And with that she turned and left him sitting in the dark. 

To be continued.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to say thank you to all of you who have been inboxing me here on AO3 and through Instagram and Twitter to find out when I would be updating next. It really does mean a lot to me. I wasn't even going to post again this soon but I wanted to say thank you in the only way I knew how and that was to update sooner than later. 
> 
> So, here is the next chapter.......and.........Thank you =)

Marcus sat there as she closed the door with a slam behind her. He knew logically that she wasn’t angry and yet the emotional part of him felt all of her hurt.  
He too was a man that was hurting. He didn’t know how to make sense of it. He just didn’t.  
No! What he remembered was the blond hair and the blue lips of his child as he desperately put his hands together and tried to get her heart to beat. Yelling her name over and over as he hoped against hope that his daughter would hear her daddy’s words and come back to him.  
The story would always end the same no matter how many times he relived it.  
And yet Clarke’s mother still loved him?  
How on Heaven or earth did that make sense?  
She should hate him with every single fiber of her being.  
Why did she not loathe the very sight of him?  
Suddenly he stood from the couch and in a split second he was at her bedroom door.  
Only then did he freeze, his hand shaking as it was only a breath away from the handle that would allow him access to the room to where his wife was.  
Marcus leaned his forehead against the door and when he spoke, it was merely a whisper.  
“Abby?”  
He heard her gasp on the other side. Was she sitting on the floor? She sounded so close.  
She was indeed on the floor against the door. She had planned to take up residence in that spot when she slammed the door, fell to that spot and cried. Sitting on the floor and wishing and hoping and praying that her husband would come for her.  
“What?”  
She was wiping the tears with the back of her hand.  
He knew from years of being married to her that she was broken.  
“Why, Abby?”  
“Why what?”  
And still they were separated by a hotel door.  
“Why won’t you hate me?”  
And then she opened the door and faced him. Only Abby could look that beautiful with tears streaking her face. Abby shook her head so slowly as his wife looked at him like he was a complete idiot.  
“Marcus, you are still the same man that stood in the middle of a bar parking lot and told me I was beautiful, and the same guy who nervously asked me for my number, the same guy who grew a beard just so I could see what you looked like with one, and you are still the same man who woke up early on Christmas morning to make coffee so we could have some while our children opened their presents. Should I really hate you over one mistake? Should I really not have any blame in any of it Marcus? I was on the phone with you. All the things you were saying were all the things I was saying right back to you. All the blame you hold is all the blame I hold against myself!”  
Marcus stared at her dumbfounded.  
Never had he blamed her.  
Never had he thought about it.  
Not even once did he hold her accountable for Clarke’s death.  
“I never thought it was your fault, Abby. I never blamed you for her dying that day. Never! You must believe me when I say that.”  
Abby stared down at the ground briefly before she looked back at him.  
“It doesn’t matter, Marcus. None of it matters.”  
Now it was him that shook his head and stared down at the ground while they both stayed quiet for several moments before he finally looked at her.  
“It doesn’t matter that I never blamed you?”  
She let out a laugh devoid of all humor.  
“No, Marcus. It doesn’t matter because if we truly lost more than our daughter that day then none of this matters. Somehow losing you just makes it all so much worse. You’ve made it abundantly clear that there is no us anymore. We are just Marcus and Abby now. Not the Kane’s. Not the Kane clan as we used to joke about. So, no it doesn’t matter. In less than a week, I’ll be back at the house that was supposed to be ours and you’ll be back at your house. And none of this will matter because you will get your divorce…………”  
Just saying the words seem to rip something apart inside her that she knew nothing, no one and no amount of time would ever be able to put back together.  
And now she couldn’t look at him, not because she hated him but because she had always loved him in such a way that her very soul seemed to be entangled with his. Her love for him would never end and yet she was a woman and a mother and because of that reason alone, if he wanted to go, she would let him. Abby wasn’t a woman that would hang on to anyone if she wasn’t what they wanted. So she would swallow her love for him whole and move on no matter how much it felt like she was merely existing and not living.  
“Abby……..”  
And then he had his hand cupping her face and yet she didn’t dare look at him. He was too close, she could smell that aftershave and cologne that always made her half drunk on him. The bottom half of his body was touching hers. She could feel both of his elbows against her breasts as his free hand came up to cup her face too. Abby closed her eyes, she had too, she was trying to tell herself that whatever he was going to say would be the end of her, the end of them as she knew it and it was all too much. She silently begged him not to speak and she should have know that her husband was a man who always seemed to get his way when it came to her.  
He owned her.  
No other man would ever have her, not like this anyway.  
Even if she found a way to move on, no man would ever have complete control over her.  
Not Marcus Kane control.  
“Abby?”  
She shook her head.  
“Whatever you’re going to say. I’m begging you not too. I can’t take anymore, Marcus. Please, I can’t.”  
He heard her plead with him.  
Instead he lifted her face with it’s tears still falling down.  
There was no light in the room except for the moonlight coming through.  
He wouldn’t have needed light to find his wife anyway.  
Her body was etched in his memory, every perfect curve.  
And right now he was only searching out her lips.  
He stared down at her lips for a long moment before he finally lowered his head.  
His lips barely grazed hers, she hadn’t expected it.  
Abby’s eyes briefly opened in shock and then fluttered closed as a shocked gasp from her lips filled the room.  
And then just like that his hands were in her hair as his lips moved over hers.  
When he parted his lips, her heart beat wildly. There was something about kissing him that always stole the breath from her lungs and this time was no different. She felt his tongue take control and as always she obliged him. She wouldn’t be Abby Kane if she didn’t give into every one of his desires.  
His arms were around her, pulling her too him, making her moan his name.  
He was sure he had already heard his name falling from her kiss swollen lips for the last time but then there it was. Making him hard in a quick second. There was no choice but to push her up against the wall as his mouth took complete control of her. The kiss became hot and messy and perfect as she put her hands in his hair, tugging and pulling on him as the only sound in the room was their panting as his mouth sucked on that spot on her neck that she had always liked so much and had missed so badly.  
“Marcus? Marcus?”  
“Do you want me to stop?”  
“Only for now.”  
She shocked herself by saying it.  
He nodded slowly, laying his forehead on her shoulder as he tried to bring his breathing and body back to normal.  
Her hands were still in his hair.  
“It’s not that I don’t want you, Marcus. God knows that I do. It’s just that if this happens right now with so much unresolved stuff, I’m afraid it will be a mistake that gets my hopes up. I need you to care enough to not get my hopes up if this isn’t what you want.”  
His voice was half muffled as he was still snuggled in her shoulder.  
“I do want you, Abby. I’ll never be able to fathom why you don’t hate me. I just can’t make sense of it. We can take a couple more days if that is what you want, we can take a lifetime if that is what you want. But, Abby?”  
She kissed the side of his face with a feather light kiss and then wrapped her arms around him.  
“What?”  
“Don’t make me sleep alone tonight. Let me stay here with you.”  
And he sounded so broken as he said it, that she couldn’t help but smile at the mere fact that it wasn’t just her that had missed him, that there was a part of him that missed her too.  
“Stay with me, Marcus.”  
She whispered the words in his hair, making his shiver as she said it.  
Abby took her husband’s hand and let him to the bed. He had always slept on the side closest to the door, it had been their rule, his way to protect her. Tonight would be no different.  
In silence she moved to her side, taking off her dress, leaving the black bra and panties on before laying down on her side. Marcus stripped down only to his grey cotton boxer briefs before laying down on his side.  
Abby’s back to Marcus’s chest as he put his arm around her, they both sighed at the feel of the other. He could smell the scent of her shampoo and lotion that she has always used, damn he had missed that. Marcus snuggled his face into the crook of her neck.  
“I’ve missed you, Abby.”  
And with that she let out a breath as if she had been holding it a long time.  
“I wondered if you ever did, Marcus.”  
“How could you ever doubt it?”  
“It seemed like it was just so easy for you to move on.”  
“No, Abby. No. I wish I could make you understand.”  
“Marcus?”  
“Hmmm?”  
“Just keep your arms around me. For tonight, give me this.”  
He kissed the side of her neck with a soft kiss before pulling her flush against him.  
“I won’t go anywhere.”  
And then she shocked him by turning in his arms and pressing her cheek against his chest.  
“I’ve missed your arms, Marcus. I’ve missed your smell. Promise me that there is hope.”  
He tightened his hold on her.  
“I have so much to work through, Abby. I promise you though that I want you with me when I do it.”  
And then he kissed her softly and listened as her breathing evened out and she fell asleep in his arms for the first time in over a year. 

To be continued………..


	9. Chapter 9

There hadn’t been time to talk when they woke up, they only had twenty minutes to get down to their appointment with Jaha.   
“Abby, wake up! We’re going to be late.”   
He had wanted to lay there in the darkened room and stare at her features. Instead he had glanced at the clock and saw it was eight forty. His heart had almost dropped, figured missing one appointment wouldn’t hurt and then though better of it. Abby had woken up with a groggy smile before she realized what he was saying and then she jumped up. They were both in jeans and t-shirts, they had brushed their teeth and now were racing from the elevator to Jaha’s office.   
This time they sat even closer, yet weren’t touching.   
Jaha had smiled before sitting down.   
“Well, did you kiss last night?”   
Abby blushed, Marcus nodded, and Jaha laughed.   
“Well, good for you. Now for today only, you will not be required to do but two things.”   
They looked at him expectantly.   
“You are due to pick up your kids and mother from the airport in just over an hour. At three today, I will meet you with you and your children at the private pool.”   
Neither Marcus and Abby said anything, the fear of it was enough to radiate off both of them.   
“Also, tonight, you will need to hold one another, the kids can’t stay with you. Normally I wouldn’t ask for the kids to come. Yet, your case is different than most. It could be in a recliner, couch, bed, I don’t care. But while you do this, you will discuss your favorite romantic memory. As for now, I am dismissing you so that you can go and see your kids.” 

 

Marcus drove a family van, something he hated and yet if it meant his children would be with him, he would drive it even if it looked like he was commander of a spaceship. Next to him, Abby was playing with the radio. There was a normalcy to it, her sitting there and trying to find a suitable station for the kids.   
They parked the car not too far from the small airport.   
They both climbed out.   
Marcus watched her as she excitedly waited for him to walk with her towards the doors of the airport.   
“Abby?”   
Her eyes were bright as she looked at him. Her eyes darted from him to the door and back to him again. He laughed.   
“Abby?”   
“Yes?”   
She was almost hopping up and down.   
“I know you are excited but I need your attention, just for a minute.”   
“What is it?”   
He closed the distance between them and placed his hands on her hips.   
Suddenly he had her undivided attention. The left side of his mouth up righted into a quick smile.   
“I just want you to know that I’m sorry we woke up late.”   
She looked at him with a question in her eyes.   
“Why?”   
Her heart began to beat quickly.   
When he spoke it was slow and husky.   
“I had wanted to talk to you about last night. I don’t want to ignore what happened. I’m not sure what all that meant to you, Abby.”   
She blushed, a small blush that crept across her cheeks and he wasn’t sure if there was anything more endearing. A girlish smile moved across her lips.   
“Marcus?”   
“Hmmm?”   
His eyes moved slowly over her face.   
“It meant absolutely everything, Marcus. It meant everything.”   
He gave the slightest nod of his head. He stepped in closer.   
“Abby, I really need to kiss you.”   
“Then you should do just that.”   
His eyes were on her lips, she gasped when she saw the need in his eyes. Slowly he lowered his head and at first his lips merely grazed hers. Abby wrapped her arms around the back of his neck as her lips parted for him. He took advantage of that in the best possible way as he kissed her as if his very existence depended on that one moment, on that one kiss.   
He moaned into her as he gripped her waist tighter and then just as quickly as it started he stopped and rested his forehead against her chest.   
“Christ, Abby. I really want to be alone with you. “  
She held him to her.   
“I’m looking forward to that.”   
“Are you?”   
“I’ve missed you every moment in one way or the other, Marcus. I just need to feel close to you.”   
He kissed her neck, making his name tumble off her lips.   
“Either you stop, Marcus or you better push me up against that family van.”   
He growled into her ear.   
“I really don’t want to stop but the plane landed several minutes ago and our kids are waiting for us.”   
He gave her a quick kiss to her lips before taking her hand in his and pulling her with him to the sliding door of the airport. 

Bellamy was looking around, his dark eyes searching the crowd. They landed on his daddy first, after all he was tall and easy to spot.   
“Daddy!”   
And Bellamy shot off from his grandmother who was relieved to see Marcus through the crowd.   
“Daddy!”   
The little boy yelled it again as Marcus let go of Abby’s hand and put out his arms to his son. Bellamy jumped into them. Marcus kissed the little boy’s head before putting his son down as Abby held her son to her. Marcus left them there when he saw that Octavia, holding her grandmother’s hand and was waddling on pudgy little legs towards her parents. Her free arm flapping with excitement as her big dark eyes stayed glued to her mommy. Suddenly she saw her father and squealed with delight, Marcus leaned down and picked her up immediately as he showered her with kiss after kiss on her small, pudgy and perfect face.   
He smiled at his mom, kissing her cheek quickly before carrying an anxious Octavia to Abby who had just barely stood from hugging her son. Octavia was already leaning out to get to her mommy. Marcus placed their daughter in Abby’s arms. Like Bellamy, she held her daughter to her and kissed her several times. Vera didn’t miss it when Marcus put his arm around Abby’s waist, or the way Abby leaned her head into his chest and she especially didn’t miss the moment that Marcus and Abby locked eyes before he leaned in and kissed her lips quickly.   
Suddenly Vera hadn’t mind making this trip at all. 

At three, the four of them were in bathing suits and headed down to the private pool. Bellamy was in shorts with sharks on them. He said they made him look scary. Every he jumped in front of his mom, she jumped and held her chest and said she thought a shark was after her. He thought that was hysterical.   
Octavia was in a red swimsuit with a flower bandana tied around her head to keep her from getting burnt.   
“I’m not sure why she needs that, honestly you put enough sunscreen on them to protect an army.”   
Abby smiled up at her husband.   
“You have to admit that she looks adorable.”   
He grinned in response before whispering next to her ear.   
“Your bathing suit isn’t so bad either, Mrs. Kane.”   
She gasped and not because of what he said about the bathing suit. It was the endearment that he had used. Abby couldn’t remember the last time he had said those words to her. If they had been alone, she would have ripped her own clothes off and begged him to take her. The blush crept along her cheeks again. He reached out and ran his thumb over her cheek before leaning in and kissing her briefly.   
“That’s gross. You guys shouldn’t do that.”   
Bellamy was staring up at them.   
“I’ll be more careful.”   
“Thank you, Daddy and I’m glad you are coming back home.”   
His parents stared at him. The little boy shrugged.   
“You always said that only married people kiss, so that must mean you are coming back home.”   
The elevator doors opened, revealing the private pool on the roof of the building.   
Jaha was waiting for them with his permanent smile.   
“Welcome. You must be Bellamy”   
He shook the little boys hand before he smiled at Octavia who buried her head in her mother’s shoulder.   
“The shy one is my daughter, Octavia as you have guessed.”   
“You must be very proud, Marcus. Your children look like you.”   
He smiled before taking his daughter into his arms. Jaha looked at the pool.   
“I would like you to get into the pool with your children.”   
Abby moved into the pool with Bellamy who wasn’t at all afraid of the water. Marcus moved to the steps with his daughter in his arms. Once he was at waist level, he completely went still. Abby’s eyes were on him, she saw the fear move through his eyes.   
“It’s ok.”   
Octavia began to squirm, Abby knew it was because Marcus had gone tense.   
“Marcus, let me have her.”  
She said is calmly, Marcus turned from Abby, keeping his daughter securely in his arms.   
“I don’t want to do this.”   
His voice was shaky.   
“I want to take the kids back up to the room, Abby.”   
Abby reached out and touched his arm.   
“Baby, this is not that day and this is not Clarke.”   
He shook his head, looking at her only briefly before he was staring into the water.   
“Please, Abby, Please.”   
Abby leaned in and rested her head in the crook of his neck. Bellamy was watching from where he was holding on to the side of the pool.   
“Honey, Octavia is safe. Let me take her.”   
He only shook his head in response.   
“Marcus?”   
“No, Abby. No. I have to protect her. Please, don’t take her.”   
The tears came from him now as his daughter began flapping the water with her free hand, making the water splash all three of them. The baby giggled in great delight.   
“Marcus?”   
Jaha spoke his name cautiously. Marcus looked up at him.   
“Your daughter is safe. I want you to hand her to Abby. Can you do that for me?”   
“No.”   
“Your wife loves you and your daughter. I need you to trust her with Octavia.”   
“I do trust her.”   
“Do you trust yourself, Marcus? Trust yourself enough to be separated from your child for a moment.”   
He shook his head and put his lips against his daughter’s head.   
“I just want to hold her for a little while. Please. Just stop. Both of you.”   
Bellamy swam over and gripped on to his daddy’s shoulder as he hung on to his father’s back.   
“Remember how you used to swim me around, Daddy?”   
“Yes, I remember.”   
“How come you don’t do that anymore? You used to take all of us, even mommy. Can you take me for a ride?”   
Abby watched as Marcus carefully walked with Bellamy on his back and Octavia in his arms as he walked around the shallow end of the pool. She wanted to put her arms around her husband and tell him that it was going to be alright. Several minutes passed before Marcus walked over to his wife who was leaning back against the side of the pool, propped up only by her arms as she watched her family.   
“It’s not that I don’t trust you, Abby. I do. I just want her to be safe.”   
She cupped his face and stared into his eyes that seemed to be living in the past, living in the day when they lost their child. Abby kissed his lips quickly, grateful that Bellamy was staring down at how funny his own feet looked in the water.   
“Tell me how to help you, Marcus.”   
He looked helpless.   
“I don’t have a clue.”   
Abby put her cheek on his chest over his heart. He kissed the top of her head as he wrapped his free arm around her waist, her legs wrapped around him as he easily moved through the water with his family hanging on to him. Marcus buried his face in her neck.   
“I love you, Abby.”   
She felt the tears come easily.   
“I love you, so much, Marcus.”   
“I can’t do this without you anymore.”   
She placed a small kiss to his chest that if they were alone would have led to several other things.   
“You never had to do any of this on your own.” 

To be continued.


	10. Chapter 10

Abby stepped out of the shower and wrapped her robe around her. Marcus was in the small hotel living room with their kids. It had gone extremely quiet and as a result, the woman tip toed out to where the only sound was that of Chowder playing on the television screen.  
Marcus was snuggled up with his kids while he was dressed in a pair of gym shorts and no shirt. Bellamy with his sun kissed face which made his freckles show up just a little bit more was on the recliner, tucked in to his daddy’s side with his little cheek against Marcus’s ribs. Octavia who had grown cold immediately after leaving the pool was dressed in a little yellow pajama set, her little chubby feet on Marcus’s sides as her little arms were splayed out on his shoulders, slowly her chest rose and fell as she breathed in and out. Marcus had an arm over each child as he too slept.  
Abby carefully grabbed her cellphone and took a picture of the three of them, her husband and her children, her family. She stared at them for a long time. Until slowly she stood and carefully picked up her daughter and laid her in the small crib that the hotel had delivered earlier.  
The kids should have been dropped off with Vera already.  
Instead Abby sent a picture of Marcus and the kids to Vera. ‘Sleeping soundly. Would hate ‘to disturb.’  
In which Vera replied.  
‘I’m so glad to know all four of you are under the same roof. Don’t forget to call the doctor, he said I was supposed to take the kids back tonight. In the meantime, I could use the sleep. I will see you in the morning.’  
Abby called Jaha and explained the situation, he reluctantly agreed that they could just come see him in the morning.  
Abby pulled out the sofa bed, she didn’t comprehend why Marcus hadn’t slept on it instead of the couch, in the end it didn’t matter since last night he slept next to her.  
Carefully she walked back over to her husband and slowly ran her hand through his hair.  
“Hey.”  
She said it softly. Marcus’s eyes slowly opened and he jumped when he realized his daughter was gone. Abby immediately rebuked herself for scaring him.  
“It’s ok. She is in the crib.”  
Marcus glanced over to where his little girl was asleep on her stomach. He nodded and looked down at Bellamy.  
“I guess we all passed out.”  
“That is what happens when you guys steal all the hot water before I got my shower.”  
He gave her a small smile.  
“Didn’t you use to say it would be nice if I helped with bath time? So, that is exactly what I did.”  
Marcus gave her a small smile before he stood up slowly and stretched.  
“Lay him down on the couch bed, will you?”  
Marcus picked up their son and placed him into bed. Abby flipped on the hall light so that they wouldn’t be frightened if they woke up. Marcus turned off the television. 

They hadn’t discussed that Marcus would be sleeping next to Abby again. It was decided when they woke up that morning, they both just knew that it was what they wanted. Abby left the thin maroon robe on as she climbed into bed. Marcus left on the gym shorts, His wife laid her head on his chest as she breathed in deeply, craving his scent.  
The fact that they wanted each other also didn’t need to be said. However, for now the fact that they could lay together seemed to be enough and perfect.  
“It feels good to have you here with me, Marcus.”  
He gave a soft smile as he kissed her hair.  
“It feels good to have you and my children here with me. There would be times Abby would I would be in that exact position with them and I would wish that you were going to come into the room. You would laugh and tell me that I was making the kids lazy or tell me how you wished you could lay around all day and then you would give me a quick kiss before I watched you walk out of the room. I never thought we would have a moment like this again, Abby.”  
She kissed his chest like she had hundreds of time, only now it seemed sweeter. Marcus let out a sigh.  
“If we’re going to work through stuff then there is something that I need to ask you.”  
She knew what was coming and she held her breath as she waited.  
“Why Abby? Why did you kiss him back?”  
Abby sat up slowly. The truth was that she didn’t want to talk about and yet if it would help her husband to move past it then she would do whatever it took to help him.  
“It wasn’t because I was so attracted to him…….?”  
She buried her face in her hands because the truth was going to make her vulnerable. Abby felt when Marcus sat up in the bed. When he spoke it was in a deep whisper.  
“Please, I need to know. Abby, I just need to know.”  
He leaned his forehead against her shoulder, she kept her voice quiet as she spoke more to herself than to him.  
“I thought that maybe he would just hold me. I didn’t want to have sex with him. I wasn’t even turned on by him………”  
Marcus shook his head against her as if even thinking about it had hurt him on a deep level. Abby didn’t blame him for that. She took a few deep breaths before she spoke again.  
“I was so shattered during that time. It wasn’t his arms I wanted around me. I didn’t want him to be the man that told me that everything was alright. In the end, he told me he wouldn’t do that anyway. He said he wanted a onetime thing. He wasn't interested in helping me through anything and I didn’t want to be with him.”  
Marcus sighed.  
“Abby, I know more and more all the time that I pushed you into that moment. I pushed myself into that awful moment with Diana. I don’t know how to make up for those things. Will it always be between us?”  
She looked where his head was on her shoulder.  
“I don’t want them to be, Marcus. How do I make them not be?”  
Her dark eyes were on his sorrowful ones, they stared at each other for several long moments as they sat in the darkened room.  
“I should have held you. That day I found you in the bathroom crying when you were so pregnant with Octavia. Abby, I should have sat on the floor and taken you into my arms……….”  
She saw the way he was looking at her, the way the regret infused each and every word as he spoke. Abby wanted to tell him it was alright and yet the truth was this past year had riddled her with pain.  
“I wish you had, Marcus. I wish we had started rebuilding the moment our worlds were shattered. Why couldn’t you hold me? Why couldn’t you tell me that we were going to get through it?”  
He listened as his wife’s voice cracked.  
Marcus buried his face in his hands for a moment before he looked at her again.  
“How do you hold a woman you love when you are the one that took her child from her?”  
“She was your child too! Clarke was your baby too, Marcus.”  
He nodded.  
“I know. I know. But it was me that took her from both of us.”  
Abby reached out and placed her hands on the side of his face as she turned her body towards him.  
“But that day, Marcus. I didn’t just lose her. I lost the love of my life that day. I don’t know whether or not you are really here. Are you going to stay? Do you want this? I don’t know what you want. I feel like you are in my grasp and yet if I push the wrong way you, my husband will disappear. Tell me what you want.”  
Marcus placed his forehead against her chest, the only thing separating them was the robe.  
“I’m sorry. I am so sorry that I took her from us.”  
Abby wrapped her arms around him. She wasn’t sure if next month she would still be sharing a bed with him but for right now the man she loved was within her grasp so instinctively she wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his hair.  
“Marcus……….”  
“And I’m sorry that I sent you into the arms of another man because I left you feeling unwanted and unloved and as if I had forgotten every memory that we had ever made. Christ, Abby, I love you and I want you and I want to come home.”  
Abby gasped as she buried her face into the crook of his neck wishing that she could get closer to him.  
Marcus slowly untied the belt of her robe, Abby could hardly breathe as she he slowly parted the robe where it encircled her. His knuckles were the first part of him to graze her skin, making her gasp as his hands worked their way up to push the material off her shoulders.  
“Abby, I’ve needed you from the second I saw you. Not just because I remember how good it is. I’ve needed you because I miss every aspect of being yours.”  
He slipped the robe off her body before letting his lips fall upon her shoulder. Abby was holding his shoulders and besides her breathing she wasn’t moving at all.  
“Abby, we don’t have too.”  
Although he was desperate to pull her legs over his waist and feel her slide over him. Yet, he forced himself to stop letting his lips taste her skin.  
His wife leaned back and looked at him.  
“I need you to say it.”  
He looked at her with a question in his eyes.  
“Say what? That I love you?”  
“That you don’t blame me either.”  
He shook his head slowly before cocking it to one side.  
Marcus moved his hands up to where they cradled her at the neck.  
“I have already told you that I don’t. I never have.”  
“Look me in the eye and say it.”  
Marcus leaned in and looked her directly in the eye.  
“Baby, I don’t blame you. I never have and I never will.”  
She gave him the sweetest smile and then he kissed her. Marcus kissed her slowly as if he needed to savor it and he supposed on some level that they both needed to prove to the other that they were really there and that the other needed this moment just as desperately as the other. Quickly the kiss turned heavy and needy as her hands moved to the elastic of the shorts he was wearing. He lifted up just enough so that she could pull the shorts from his body. Then just like he had wanted, Marcus pulled her to him, foreplay wasn’t needed, not after everything, not after countless months of being apart and missing each other to the point of tears.  
Abby slid down on him, she was hot and ready and he was slick and hard as she took her spot over him. When he was as deep as he could get into her, they froze as they moaned as gasped. Their eyes on each other, their mouths partially opened as the pleasure of it stole their breath.  
“Christ, Abby. I missed being buried inside you.”  
The words barely came out of him. He gasped them out.  
Then Abby held on to his shoulders as she pressed down in order to build momentum as his arms encircled her waist.  
“Oh God, Marcus!”  
And then she was moving and taking control, his hands holding her waist as he guided her up and down, faster and faster and they rocked their way into oblivion.  
Hearing his breathing get more and more labored was a turn on for her, knowing he had missed this just as much as she did him.  
“I can’t hold on, Abby. I can’t hold on.”  
“It’s alright.”  
He fell back on the bed as he tried to keep his body in control.  
“Lean back Abby, so I can watch.”  
He had always been a fan of that. Abby leaned back placing her hands on his thighs. This way he could watch as she rode him. Abby moaned when he licked his thumb and began circling her in tight hard circles making her thrust her head back as her mouth fell open. Marcus watched as her breasts moved up and down with the rhythm of their movements.  
He didn’t have to ask if she was close, he knew his wife’s body well enough to know by the way she rocked her hips against his thumb and on him that she was pleasure ridden.  
When his name sprang from her lips and her throaty moans took on the sounds of cries as one of his free hand came up and reshaped one of her full breasts, he knew she was toppling over the edge and he wasn’t far behind.  
“Fuck, Marcus!”  
And then her body flung forward, their heads so close together he could have kissed her and yet it was the sight of her sweaty and spent that did him in as he came heavily inside of her. 

 

To be continued.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy 4th of July. 
> 
> Giving you a shorter chapter than normal. However I wanted to give you guys something because of all the positive feedback. Tomorrow is my birthday so I won't be updating. I will probably update 'Pretty Woman' on Thursday. Enjoy the Holiday and don't drink and drive. 
> 
> SJC

Marcus woke to find Abby not next to him.  
He called out for her and only heard silence in return.  
“Abby?”  
He called again and nothing.  
Marcus didn’t hear his wife in the shower and he didn’t hear the hum of the television to alert him that his children were awake.  
He scrambled out of bed quickly. Where was his family?  
Marcus headed quickly to the front room, colliding with the door jam before he sidestepped it and headed to the front room. Octavia wasn’t in her crib and Bellamy wasn’t on the couch where Marcus clearly remembered laying him down the night before.  
Suddenly the hotel door came open and in walked Abby. Marcus stared at her wide eyed.  
“Marcus? What is it? Babe? What is wrong?”  
With nervousness, she moved to him quickly and took one of his hands in both of hers.  
“Baby, what happened?”  
He swallowed hard before pulling her into his arms.  
“I thought I dreamt it. The kids. Us. I thought I dreamt it all.”  
Marcus said the words with a lot of emotion. Abby hugged him tighter.  
“The kids are safe. I took them back to your mom. I wanted time with you before we had to go back and see Jaha.”  
He nodded his head slowly.  
“It was so quiet. You weren’t in bed. Normally Bellamy wants to watch cartoons in the morning and I couldn’t hear the television and I didn’t hear Octavia and she is always awake so early.”  
Abby kept her cheek against his chest.  
“Octavia woke up about five. I came out and breast fed her. Bellamy woke up later and I got him some breakfast and then took them back to your mom. They are alright.”  
He nodded again.  
It was embarrassing the way the fear over took him so easily. He felt his heart began to get back to a normal rhythm.  
“Come on.”  
Abby took her husband’s hand and led him back to the room.  
“Just lay down, Marcus.”  
As always after a moment of completely freaking out, he felt exhausted. He laid on his stomach, Abby laid next to him and put her head on his shoulder so that she could see him, one of her hands was rubbing his broad back.  
“Do you go through this a lot?”  
He looked slightly embarrassed.  
“Marcus, please tell me.”  
He looked at her with so much brokenness that Abby felt the need to shield him from the world.  
“I have been going through this since Clarke died. This is the first time you just actually came through the door.”  
He was the one talking and yet it felt like her heart was the one that broke.  
“I love you, Marcus. I don’t know how to help you but I know that I want too.”  
He could do nothing except nod in return, for several moments neither of them said anything. When he spoke, his voice was a mere whisper.  
“I don’t know how you could help me either. I want to get past this and I don’t know how…..it’s…..”  
And this his voice trailed off with emotion.  
Abby moved her hand from his back and into his hair.  
“Because of our daughter?”  
He nodded slowly.  
“Yes, because of Clarke.”  
“Marcus, how do I make you believe?”  
“Abby, you can’t make me believe it wasn’t my fault. I know you want too. You can’t.”  
The tears in his eyes were evident.  
“I’m so afraid you are suddenly going to pull away from me again, Marcus.”  
She could hardly meet his eyes as she said it. The vulnerability was too much.  
“I’m not going to leave you again, Abby. I am just telling you that I don’t know how to get past this. I don’t know how to move forward. I literally don’t know how. It is like when the bible tells you to forgive people and I am always left sitting there like ‘how?’. I just do not know how to do these things. Abby…….”  
The look on his face was one of being shattered, she knew it all too well when she looked in the mirror. Abby had seen in a lot in the weeks and months following the loss of Clarke and then all over again when Marcus had up and left.  
“I don’t know how either, Marcus.”  
He looked at her like she was crazy.  
“You seem to have done it so gracefully.”  
She shook her head.  
“You haven’t seen me when I’m alone, Marcus. It is then that I cry. A soul shattering cry.”  
“What makes you think I can help you through it, Abby?”  
His wife shook her head slowly.  
“I know because except for our children, I have never loved anyone the way I love you, Marcus. You make every burden easier to shoulder and I need you. I need you, Marcus.”  
He only stared at her in response.  
“Do you know what I see when I see a pool? Like yesterday. I see her blond hair and her blue lips. I see myself giving her CPR and begging her to hear me. That is what I see every single time.”  
Marcus felt the emotion taking over just as she heard it in his voice. He put his face toward the pillow and let himself cry. The same soul shattering cry that she had just talked about. Abby held him, placing her forehead against his head and cried with him. She wasn’t crying just for Clarke, she was crying for Marcus who was hurting beyond words and it was enough that he at least let her be with him while he was ripping apart. Abby held him tightly as her arm now around his back as his entire body shook with the emotion that was ripping through him.  
“I love you, Marcus. I love you.”  
She was kissing his hair.  
“I will never understand why you can.”  
“Because you are a good father to our children, you have been a good husband.”  
“I left you.”  
“I know but it doesn’t erase a thousand good memories.”  
He turned to her quickly, burying his face in her chest and continued to cry. Abby held her husband close to her as his tears spilled through her t-shirt.  
“You are the most forgiving person I have ever known.”  
Marcus moved his face into her neck, Abby moved one hand into his hair and the other over his back as she tried desperately to comfort him. Then he was looking into her face and at a loss of what to do she kissed the tears off his face, murmuring that she loved him over and over again and telling him that there was nothing to forgive.  
“I would do anything to take that memory from us. Please don’t ever leave me again, Marcus.”  
And then she was kissing his lips. He was frozen for a moment and then he kissed her back. It went from slow and comforting to hot and hungry in a matter of moments.  
Marcus took no time to find the buckle of her jeans and undoing them. Abby slid her own shirt over her head and then she was naked next to her husband. Marcus once again put his head to her chest, this time taking her nipple into his mouth, Abby wrapped her arms around him, holding him in place as he moved her onto her back.  
This time it was about the comfort, the fact that she still loved him and the truth was he would never quite understand how the woman beneath him could continue to love him after everything that had happened that awful day. Yet, here she was and suddenly he had to have her. Marcus pushed into her, they froze momentarily as her body adjusted to him.  
This time they moved slowly, it wasn’t about the sex this time and they both knew it.  
It was about the fact that they weren’t going to give up on each other.  
Marcus took her hands in his and held them against the mattress as they were splayed about her head.  
This time it was him that whispered to her over and over that he loved her and that he didn’t deserve her.  
Abby rolled her hips against him as she told him how much she had missed him and missed him being inside her.  
And even then, it wasn’t about the sexual experience, it was about being together, being a team.  
This time they came together.  
Later they showered together before heading down to see Jaha. 

This time when they sat on the couch, the say together, hand in hand. 

To be continued……


	12. Chapter 12

“You two have definitely taken some major steps since we started.”   
Jaha smiled as he jotted something down on his yellow notepad. Marcus and Abby looked at each other, a small smile passed between them.   
“So, for today only I am going to ask you, Abby to do something.”   
She looked from Marcus to Jaha. She silently awaited for whatever Jaha was going to say. The doctor leaned forward and stared back and forth between the couple before focusing only on Abby.   
“I want you to take off your wedding ring.”   
Her mouth fell open. Quickly Abby let go of Marcus’s hand and covered her ring protectively with her right hand.   
“I don’t want too.”   
“I can understand why you are nervous about it. Let me remind you that this is all part of the process.”   
Marcus put his arm around her shoulders in a comforting manner.   
“When will she get it back?”   
Jaha smiled.   
“You both will have the opportunity to have the rings back later. You as well will be giving up your ring. Please take them off and give them to me.”   
Abby was surprised by the amount of emotion that ran through her as she took off the ring that Marcus had put there. The ring only came off when the babies were born and Abby had swelled too much to wear it. Marcus watched as his wife visibly shook as she placed the ring in his hand. He stroked her cheek with his left hand where his ring was still securely on his finger.   
“Hey, you will be putting this back on.”   
“I don’t like it.”   
They whispered the words to each other so only they could hear.   
“I promise that it will be alright. I promise, Abby.”   
She leaned into him and hid her face in the crook of his neck. He held her firm against him before kissing the top of her head. Abby leaned back and watched with her head down as Marcus took off his own ring. Then she watched as her husband handed their rings to Jaha. The doctor locked them in a box before slapping his knees.   
“Now, today I will be meeting with both of you separately. Tonight, you will have the final date. Now let’s talk about the pool and what took place yesterday.”   
“In what way?”   
Marcus’s eyes took on a hint of anger as he looked at the doctor. Jaha stayed calm.   
“Well, yesterday you did very well, Marcus. It was clear that it was a difficult moment for you. Yet with remarkable care you still allowed your son to climb all over you which can be stressful when your emotions are elevated. Not only that, you made a point to care for you daughter and you held your wife all in the midst of it. This is good Marcus. How are you feeling about it?”   
Marcus told Jaha about the morning’s events when he thought he had dreamt everything. Jaha listened intently before speaking only when Marcus was done.   
“I am glad that Abby was there for you in that moment. You both should know that these moments will happen time and time again and you will never be completely over everything that took place. It’s important that there be times when you both allow the other to feel whatever they need to feel. Abby, you will never be able to convince your husband that he isn’t too blame and that is alright. What is important will be that you both feel like you are on the same team. At the beginning of this week I wasn’t sure that I would see the two of you sitting like this. Let me be clear, I knew you both wanted this, I am glad that your marriage is in a much better place.”   
With that the doctor clapped his hands together.   
“Alright, Abby, I would like to speak with your first. Marcus, go enjoy some time with your children and I will see you in two hours on the dot. Be sure to eat.”   
Marcus stood, pulling Abby with him so that they were both standing up. He took her into his arms, keeping his face near her ear.   
“I love you.”   
“Love you too, Marcus.”   
He kissed her softly before turning and walking out the door. 

He did go and spend time with his kids and his mom. He took them to lunch and then rocked Octavia to sleep while Bellamy played video games on an IPad. Vera sat cross legged on the couch and stared at her son as he gazed down at his daughter.   
“I hope she doesn’t sleep too long, Abby will want to see them both.”   
Vera smiled.   
“Take advantage that I am still young enough to watch them. Enjoy yourselves.”   
He smiled and glanced over at his mother quickly before looking back down at Octavia.   
“Thank you, mom. Really, we couldn’t have done all this without you.”   
She grinned.   
“I am glad that my grandchildren are going to be back in a house with both parents.”   
Marcus ran the index finger of his right hand over Octavia’s puffy cheek. Immediately her lips started sucking as if she was being nursed. He couldn’t help but smile at the small action.   
“It was hard being away from the kids so much.”   
Vera watched her son, took notice of his features that were softer than the man who had stood in front of her just days ago before he boarded the plane.   
“Marcus?”   
He looked over at his mother who was staring at him seriously.   
“Hmmm?”   
“You do realize that Abby has loved you from the get go? Darling, she has never stopped.”   
Marcus nodded slowly.   
“I know that now. I do. I’m not sure how to thank her for that but I plan too.”   
He gave his mom a small shrug of his shoulders.   
“Abby deserves so much more than me.”   
Vera shook her head.   
“Even if that were true, Abby wouldn’t care. That woman only has eyes for you.”   
He smiled, he knew that his mother was right. Suddenly Octavia sighed as she gave into the sleep that she had desperately tried to fight. Marcus’s shook his head as he kissed the top of his daughter’s head.   
“She is the most stubborn little girl.”   
Vera let out a laugh.   
“Reminds me of a little boy I used to rock to sleep.”   
Marcus gave a look that said it was true, he had always been stubborn and even as an adult still was. He continued to rock his daughter before he had to leave. 

Abby enjoyed a glass of iced tea with Vera. Abby gave in and let Bellamy have a vanilla milkshake, it was hard to say no when she hadn’t had a whole lot of time with her kids in the last several days. The women listened as the little boy told story after story about building a magical kingdom. He spoke intently as he flipped his hair away from his eyes. Abby reached out and moved his hair out of his eyes.  
“Maybe it is time for a haircut.”   
He looked up at her with his big dark eyes.   
“No Mama.”   
When he was so adamant, he reminded her of his daddy.   
“Why?”   
He put his hands through his hair.   
“I like it. Raven at school likes it.”   
Abby and Vera smiled at each other.   
“Is that a fact?”   
“Yes, she put her hand on it and smiled.”   
“Maybe it is time for homeschooling.”   
She said it more to Vera than to Bellamy who was already back to sharing his stories about dragons and flames.   
Octavia stirred a short time later. Abby smiled, she had been hoping to hold her baby before she had to go back to the room and get ready. Vera watched as her daughter in law picked up her granddaughter from the small portable crib. The baby grinned up at her mother, excitement clear on her little face.   
“You and Marcus made her day. He rocked her to sleep and you are picking her up as she wakes up.”   
“Yes, the last two days have been nice.”   
Vera knew the woman was speaking about having her family back together. Abby pulled the breastfeeding smock from the diaper bag before situating her and the baby in the recliner. Abby cooed down to the baby as she nursed her.   
“I think she might actually fall back asleep.”   
“Growth spurt I am sure.”   
Abby glanced over at Vera.   
“I sure hope not. I want her to stay small for just a while longer.”   
“Are you guys could always just have another one.”   
Abby shot her eyes over at Vera with humor flashing over her face. Vera was grinning.   
“I love my grandbabies. A few more wouldn’t hurt.”   
“Wouldn’t hurt you is what you mean to say. Not sure my body can tolerate it.”   
Vera laughed.   
“Your body would tolerate it just fine. It would be a great way to celebrate a reunion.”   
“Right now I don’t want to concentrate on more babies. I want to concentrate on the reunion aspect of it all.”   
“Maybe just think about it.”   
Abby laughed at Vera as she put Octavia on her shoulder. The baby buried her face against her mommy’s face making both the women smile. 

 

When Marcus came in to get ready, Abby was wearing a red dress that about made his jaw drop. Her hair was wavy and fell around her shoulders. She smiled when she saw the way he was looking over her body.   
“Stop. Go get ready.”   
She playfully hit his chest.   
“You know, Abby. I am find with staying in the hotel room with you.”   
Abby laughed a throaty sexy laugh.   
“I am sure you would be. However, we have little kids and we won’t get a night like this very often.”   
He sighed.   
“Alright but you are missing out.”   
“Not for long. It’s only dinner, Marcus.”   
He grinned at her before making his way into the shower. 

They drove a few miles away to a different restaurant. It was as equally beautiful and yet Marcus wanted to be away from the other couples they had met and away from the watchful eye of Jaha. Marcus opened her door for her and took her hand helping her from the seat.   
“Jesus, Abby. You are so beautiful.”   
He placed his hands on her hips as he moved in closer and pushed her against the car.   
“Marcus….”   
She said it as a playful warning.   
“Do you really want me to stop?”   
Her chest was rising and falling as she looked at him.   
“Not a chance in hell.”   
And then he kissed her. Abby put her hands into his hair and pulled him closer to her.   
“I didn’t think so.”   
He said it between kisses.   
“Marcus, get me inside before we are arrested.”   
Her husband kissed her one last time before taking her hand and pulling her with him.   
Just before walking in the door he turned back to his wife. He stepped in close so that his hips were lined up with hers. His entire body radiated heat as he leaned in.   
“Let me very clear, Abby.”   
“What?”   
He enjoyed the way she went breathless.   
“Tonight, I am going to blow your mind.” 

To be continued


	13. Chapter 13

Marcus and Abby were seated at a table near a large window over looking the water. She looked out at the waves crashing against the shore before looking back at him, her breath almost caught when she saw him staring at her the way that he was. The blush rose in her cheeks almost immediately. That smirk of his played across his lips. One of her hands nervously went to her neck.  
“We’ve made love hundreds of times. Why are you so nervous, Abby?”  
She looked around the room before looking back at him.  
“It all feels so new.”  
His eyes moved over her before he finally met her eyes again.  
“Does that bother you?”  
Abby laughed and took a sip of her wine.  
“No, I’m happy to have you back where you have always belonged Marcus.”  
She was sure she heard a slight moan escape his lips. He took a sip from the ice cold bottle of beer that had been set on the table in front of him.  
“Abby?”  
He leaned forward, setting the bottle down on the table cloth. His eyes were intense.  
“Yes?”  
“All of this? The kids, the marriage, the good, the bad, everything, the death of our child. Would you have married me all over again if you had the chance to redo it?”  
Abby sat down her wineglass and looked him directly in the eye.  
“To have you? Marcus, I would go through every single second of it if it meant that I was Abigail Kane. I don’t want anyone else. There isn’t another man alive that can make me feel the things you make me feel. Even with all the pain, the hurt and the sadness, I know that you are the man that I want to be my comfort. Marcus. I would go back to that very first night when you pulled me on the dance floor and sung to me, I would go back to that first night in that squeaky bed in the cabin and to the morning afterward when the fire alarm went off. I would do it all over again, every single second.”  
Marcus reached out and took her hand, he pulled her out of her seat as he still sat in his. Marcus tugged her hand until she was standing before him. Abby leaned down and kissed him, a sweet kiss that easily had the power to turn hot and needy. He stood up and kissed her with just a bit more power.  
“Come on.”  
“What?”  
He smiled back at her.  
“Were not leaving.”  
He pulled her out onto the dance floor, leaving her in the middle as he walked up to the band that was about to play. He shoved something into the man’s hand that Abby couldn’t see. Marcus walked back to her and took her hand, effectively pulling her into his arms. And then the chords began and it was all Abby could do not to cry. Quickly she buried her face into his neck that smelled like home.  
“Marcus……”  
“I love you, Abby.”  
“I love you.”  
She was smiling against him as that first song from all those years ago began. And just like then, Marcus began to sing to her.

_‘I know it’s late, I know your weary_  
_I know your plans don’t include me_  
_Still here we are, both of us lonely_  
_Longing for shelter from all that we see_  
_Why should we worry, no one will care girl_  
_Look at the stars so far away_  
_We’ve got tonight, who needs tomorrow?_  
_We’ve got tonight babe_  
_Why don’t you stay.’_

The tears came easily to Abby now as he kissed her gently. Only the chords were being played as Marcus held his wife and swayed slowly with her melded against him. He kissed her ear before he started to sing with the melody once again.

_‘Deep in my soul, I’ve been so lonely_  
_All of my hopes, fading away_  
_I’ve longed for love, like everyone else does_  
_I know I’ll keep searching, even after today_  
_So there it is girl, I’ve said it all now_  
_And here we are babe, what do you say?_  
_We’ve got tonight babe_  
_Why don’t you stay?_

_I know it’s late, I know your weary_  
_I know your plans don’t include me_  
_Still here we are, both of us lonely_

_We’ve got tonight, who needs tomorrow?_  
_Let’s make it last, let’s find a way._  
_Turn out the light, come take my hand now_  
_We’ve got tonight babe_  
_Why don’t you stay?’_

The song came to an end, he kissed Abby hard and deep. His arms firmly around her. They were breathless when they pulled apart. He gave a small nervous smile as he looked at her.  
“I know the song talks about not needing tomorrow but I will tell you now what I knew that first morning up in the cabin. That morning when you were singing while wearing my shirt, looking sexier than I had ever seen any woman looked. I knew then that I would make you my wife. I know now that I would do all of it all over again if it meant having you as the woman beside me.”  
He bent down on one knee in front of her, all eyes in the restaurant turned to them. Abby’s hands flew to her mouth. Marcus had tears in his eyes as he looked up at her.  
“I wish so badly that I could change some of the things that happened. What I do know is that you love me regardless. I don’t know what I ever did to deserve your type of love, Abigail. What I do know is that I want you to be with me on every step of this journey. I want your hand in mine. I want you to yell from the other room that I forgot to hang up the bath towel or that I forgot to put the cap back on the toothpaste. I want to see you pregnant with another one of our children, I want to watch Bellamy grow up and love people the way you do and I want to see Octavia have my fierceness. I want to watch the grow into adults and know that together we put them here on this earth. I want to fall asleep with you and wake up to Saturday morning cartoons. I want to go to work with the smell of your perfume on my shirt from where you held me close to you that morning and the taste of your lips on mine. I want to argue over laundry and dishes and whose turn it is to read a bedtime story. I want to kiss you until your breathless and make love to you as often as humanly possible. I want you, Abby. Will you marry me again?”  
Then there was that beautiful smile, the one that made her eyes shine as that perfect grin played across her lips. Abby was happy. His wife was happy. She let out a laugh as she cupped his face with her hands.  
“Marcus Kane, I would be honored to have you put that ring back on my hand.”  
He actually let out a breath as if there had been some doubt. Marcus with a shaky hand put the ring on her hand. Slowly he brought her hand up to his lips and kissed it the ring before looking up at her.  
“Right where it belongs.”  
She leaned in and kissed his lips while he was still on his knees. The crowd hollered for them.  
“Marcus?”  
He stood up at took her in his arms.  
“Hmmm?”  
“I don’t want to stay and eat.”  
He leaned back to look at her.  
“Tell me what you want, Mrs. Kane.”  
She stared at him with hungry eyes.  
“Get me back to our bed.”

Marcus gave a slight nod before signaling the waiter. He quickly paid the tab and held Abby’s hand as they walked briskly to the car. Marcus drove as quickly as he could back to the hotel. They moved fast through the lobby and into the elevator. There was another couple inside. Marcus stood behind Abby with his hands on her hips. Her heart was thundering in her chest as she hoped any second the elevator would reach their destination. When the ding finally made it’s noise, Abby took a step forward. Marcus held her hips firmly with a husky whisper to her ear.  
“Not our floor.”  
The other couple stepped out hand in hand, the doors seemed to take forever to shut, the second they did, Marcus pulled his wife flush against him as he kissed her neck, she leaned her head to the side to grant him better access. Abby could feel his need for her, she grinded back against him making him let out a harsh moan. His hands slid up her dress as he squeezed her thighs in the process.  
“Marcus, we can’t do this here.”  
“Alright.”  
And yet he made no move to stop, his moves were to keep going as he pushed her up against the mirrored wall of the elevator.  
“You realize there could be cameras in here.”  
“There out of order.”  
She looked around as he began to kiss the slight cleavage.  
“How do you know?”  
“I’m a cop.”  
He reached out and hit a button bringing the elevator to a halt as he just as quickly put his hands back under her dress.  
“Mrs. Kane, you don’t have underwear on.”  
“That was supposed to be a surprise.”  
He smiled  
“Oh it is.”  
He yanked the dress up and over her hips while he quickly unfastened his belt. Abby pulled his pants from his waist and down his legs. He leaned down, pulling her knees and then picked her up and braced her against the wall. They kissed like teenagers who couldn’t get enough and who was he kidding, he really couldn’t get enough. Marcus slipped into her with ease. They were grunting and gasping as the sensation became almost too much too quickly.  
“Oh God!”  
Abby kissed his pulse point on his neck as he moaned over and over again. She knew he was close, there were things she knew about her husband and this was one of them. Abby reached down in between them and touched herself. Marcus growled when she did it, he had always loved the things she was willing to do. He came first and then a split later Abby yelled out his name. They quickly recovered.  
A few moments later he hit the button of the elevator.  
It opened to several people asking if they were alright.  
“No that was terrifying. Well, we are ok now.”  
Marcus turned to Abby who silently applauded his acting skills.   
“Yes, were fine. Thank you.”  
Marcus took her hand and together they walked down to their room.  
They laughed once inside.

They had drinks and then lounged together in bed.  
“Marcus?”  
“Hmmm?”  
She turned and looked at him, she ran her hand over his chest.  
“Do you really want more kids?”  
He gave a smile.  
“Yes. I think we need at least one more.”  
“Why?”  
“We can’t end it the way we did. Octavia didn’t get us together until only now. Let’s have one more and let’s do it right.”  
She nodded slowly.  
“And it wouldn’t be to replace……..”  
Her words trailed off.  
“No, not to replace. To rebuild.”  
Abby smiled.  
“Well, what are we waiting for then, Mr. Kane?”  
Marcus laughed and rolled her onto her back.

To be continued…………..


	14. Chapter 14

It was a mere four months after they left the marriage therapy when Kane stood by the small altar of the church. He waited for Abby. Bellamy stood next to him. They called him the mini best man. The church was filled with family and friends who had witnessed the decline of the Kane marriage and who were all thrilled when the couple announced that they were giving their vows a second go. Marcus felt his heart beating wildly as he waited for his bride. He had spent the night at Wick’s the night before so that he wouldn’t see Abby before the wedding. After spending a year away from her, one night seemed like too much to ask of him but he did it for the simple reason that Abby requested it. 

The music started, Bellamy jumped up and down while he smiled up at his father.   
“Their coming! Their coming!”   
Marcus smiled down at his son and put a finger vertically to his lips, Bellamy smirked back at his dad before he quieted down and stood like the perfect gentleman next to his father. The doors opened and their stood Abby. Her hair half up, half down with curls around her face, much like she had her hair done the first time she had walked down the aisle. Only this time, standing next to her and waddling was Octavia in a little lavender dress that matched the color of the ties that her dad and brother wore. Abby stood in a lavender dress that hugged every curve especially her belly that was only beginning to show her pregnant belly. 

Marcus took in the view of his wife, their daughter and their unborn child and he felt the emotion build up in his chest. He wanted to put his arms around his wife and whisper to her just how much he loved her. He could see the love she had for him as she gazed at him. Her eyes shined with the love that she couldn’t have hidden if she wanted too. A smile played on her lips as she tried to let her lower lip quiver with emotion. The way they looked at each other was enough to signify that they were in this, neither was going to back out. Not now, not after everything. 

Octavia held her mom’s hand and waddled forward. All at once she spotted her daddy and her excitement showed.   
“Dada! Dada!”   
The little girl sprinted forward and fell flat. She let out a little yelp. Abby bent her knees in order to talk to Octavia in hopes of calming her. Marcus being the dad he was quickly made his way to his child, he knelt down and touched the girls back. Upon seeing him, Octavia crawled up into his arms. He kissed the top of her head. Bellamy had followed.  
“Well, you have certainly won the hearts of every woman in this crowd.”   
Marcus looked at his wife, gave her an arch of his eyebrow before giving Abby a small smile.  
“I only want yours.”   
She smirked and looked at him coyly  
“That’s a good answer.”   
“Thought you might like it.”   
“Daddy, we have to go back.”   
“Take your mom’s hand, Bell.”   
Bell smiled up at his mother as he took her left hand. Marcus held his daughter on his right shoulder as he took his wife’s hand. Together and as a family, they walked down the aisle. In a way it was symbolic as all four of them walked up the small steps and stood in front of the pastor.   
“You look beautiful.”   
He whispered the words in his wife’s ear before he let go of his hand in order to face her.   
Octavia had started to snore quietly, her head tucked into her daddy’s neck. Bellamy stood quietly but never let go of his mommy’s hand. This is what had moved Abby the most, the fact that her children that she had created with Marcus were part of this, even if one of them was sleeping.   
The pastor was none other than Jaha who had offered to do the ceremony for free when the Kane’s announced that they were going to redo their vows.   
“I understand that the two of you have decided to do your own vows. Abigail, you may proceed.”   
She gave a nervous little smile and tugged at her lower lip before speaking only to Marcus.   
“When we first arrived for therapy, I didn’t think that we had hope. You were sitting against this rock wall, you were looking down at your phone. I was frozen in place and wondering how we had gone from a couple in love to two strangers. I never had to be reminded that I loved you. I stared at you in that spot and thought of the very first time I saw you, our whole life running through my mind in a matter of moments. I had missed you in ways that I couldn’t hardly voice. I ached to hear you ask me if your favorite suit was back from the cleaners or if I could make your favorite dinner. Then suddenly you were standing next to me and telling me we had to check in together. I could hardly speak. Marcus in that year you must have forgotten just how much I needed you, wanted you and loved you. I will be sure that despite the things that happen, that you know that at the end of the day, I want to be Abigail Kane. There is no other name that I would be prouder and honored to have. I’m excited for our future, I’m excited to meet this baby. I’m so happy that you are back where you belong.”   
“You may give your husband his ring.”   
Abby slid the same ring she had slid on his hand all those years ago back into place.   
“Marcus….”   
He swallowed hard before speaking.   
“Abby…..”   
He said it as he expelled a breath. His emotions showing.   
“If I could go back and change the way things were handled, I would. I really honest to God would. That year away from you was too much to handle. I missed you every day, ached for you every night. I missed all the day to day things. I wondered how you were handling life with our brand-new baby…….”   
He glanced down at Octavia before planting a kiss to her head, making Abby smile.   
“I wondered who Bellamy was watching Saturday morning cartoons with. I feared what every man fears, that I was being replaced. In the end I should have known that you Abigail don’t just love someone for a moment, you love with every single fiber of your being. You love in a way that should make me the envy of every other man on the face of the earth. You love me at my worst, my absolutely soul shattering worst. I don’t deserve you. I would be a fool if I thought I did. Yet, here I am, our son standing next to my pregnant bride and our daughter perfectly content in my arms. Abby, we have been through so much. You are my comfort, my strength and my hope. That morning all those years ago when you almost set the cabin on fire…….”   
She cocked her head to the side and smirked, making him laugh. He put one hand up in a playful defensive manner.   
“Ok, I might have had something to do with that. That morning though…..when I knew I was going to marry you. I thought in that moment that I couldn’t love you more. What a fool I was to ever believe that. Abby, I look at you now and am floored that a woman like you could love someone as flawed as me. However, I am not fool enough to question it. Abby, I will continue to love you and our children. I will be grateful that I get to fall asleep every night with someone like you beside me. I am so thankful for you and this life that we have fought to take back. I love you.”   
Abby didn’t even bother to try to hide her tears.   
“I love you.”   
Marcus switched Octavia to his other shoulder as the crowd awed as the girl briefly woke up, smiled at her dad and then tucked her head back into his shoulder. Then Marcus slid the ring on to his wife’s hand.   
“Back where it belongs, Mrs. Kane.”   
He didn’t wait to hear that it was ok to kiss his wife. No, he closed the distance and kissed her slowly and passionately while Bellamy giggled. Abby buried her face into the other side of his neck and inhaled deeply as he wrapped his free arm around her.   
“I love you, Marcus.”   
“Oh God, I love you more, baby.”   
Together as a family, they were introduced as Mr. and Mrs. Kane. 

The reception wouldn’t have been a party without Monty as the D.J.   
“This one is for the bride and groom, Bob Seager’s ‘We’ve got tonight.’”   
Abby smiled as Marcus took her hand and led her to the dance floor.   
“It wouldn’t have been a party if we didn’t have this song played.”   
Abby smiled in response as she stared up at her husband. He brushed his knuckles across her cheek and down her neck. The look her gave her was enough to make her stomach flip.   
“I really would like to move on to the honeymoon phase.”   
“Mrs. Kane, I’m shocked and a little offended. Is that all you ever think about?”   
She grinned.   
“Would it offend you if I answered honestly.”   
He smirked.   
“Only if you say no.”   
Abby laughed.   
“It is all I am thinking about right now.”   
“Look, don’t pressure me, Abby. I already was forced to marry you since I knocked you up.”   
Abby threw her head back and laughed, Marcus stared at her as she did it. When she looked back at him, she saw the humor almost completely gone from his eyes, replaced by need.   
“You are the most beautiful woman in the entire world, Abby.”   
“Stop…..”   
He cupped her face in both of his hands and looked deeply into her eyes.   
“Abby……”   
She tried to shake her head, yet his hands wouldn’t allow it.   
“You are the most beautiful woman in the world and I can’t wait to get you alone so that I can lay you down and make love to you.”   
“Sing to me already.”   
He smiled and wrapped his arms around her before burying his face into her hair and gently crooning to her. Abby felt the tears well up as she fisted one hand into his hair and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. 

They would spend their first night as husband and wife for the second time at their new home, they wanted to get away from the bad memories of the one they had shared before. Tomorrow Bellamy, Octavia and Vera would arrive. Vera would be moving in permanently yet for now, it would be only Abby and Marcus.   
“Weren’t you saying something about wanting me to yourself, Mrs. Kane.”   
“Well, now I just kind of want ice cream.”   
“Oh, so you are going to be a tease?”   
She shrugged but when she saw the look in his eyes she stopped. Her husband wanted her and there was nothing she wouldn’t do for him. Easily she moved into his arms when he pulled her to him. Abby cupped his face.   
“Marcus, I’m so glad you’re my husband again.”   
He was staring at her lips.   
“I’m glad that I have all my husband benefits back.”   
She smiled before running her thumb over his lips.   
“I won’t make you carry me up the stairs, not now that I am pregnant.”   
“We aren’t going upstairs just yet.”   
She arched an eyebrow as she continued to look at him.   
“Why?   
He grinned.   
“We only have one night to initiate our new house. I think we should get to it.”   
Abby blushed.   
“Then where too, husband?”   
He leaned down and kissed her before turning her around and unzipping her dress very slowly, kissing her exposed back as he did it. He was rewarded with a moan that escaped her lips. Marcus smiled as he saw the way her head was arched back.   
“All day long, all I’ve thought about was touching you, Abby.”   
“Show me, Marcus.”   
He let out a growl at her words as he stood up and gently bit her shoulder, something that always sent shockwaves through her body. Marcus slid his hands into the dress and pulled it from her shoulders sending it in a heap at her feet. He wasted no time undoing her bra and letting it follow the dress to the ground. He wrapped his arms around her waist and buried his face into the crook of her neck and simply standing there, holding her. Abby wrapped her arms around his and held him in place. She was a smart woman and knew when to do nothing more than allow her husband the privilege of holding her. They stayed just like that for several moments before Marcus turned her in his arms.   
“I love you.”   
Abby smiled up at him before pushing his tuxedo jacket off his shoulders.   
“I love you too, Marcus.”   
He cupped her face and kissed her so deep and so passionately that she lost her breath. Then Marcus stopped just as quickly as he began and knelt before her. He leaned his forehead against her slightly protruding belly. Abby buried her hands in his hair, she was so moved by the gesture that she could find the right words to say. Marcus pressed his lips to her stomach.   
“I’m glad we created another child.”   
“I am too, Marcus.”   
He tugged at the lacy underwear and pulled it down her long legs, she obliged and stepped out of them. Marcus ran his thumb over her sex, making her breathing change. He ran his fingers up and down her legs, kissing her thighs before he spread her legs and buried his face between them. Abby held her balance by burying one hand in his hair and the other gripping his shoulder as he made circles with his tongue over and over again, a bit faster and a bit harder than each time before.   
“Marcus……..”   
“Cum for me, Abby.”   
And she did, hard and fast before he kissed every spot on her body before he stood up. Marcus spread a blanket on to the floor before laying his wife down on it. Marcus kissed her over and over again while he positioned her legs over his shoulders.   
“I need to be in you, Abby.”   
“Then don’t make me wait.”   
For the second time, he let out a deep growl. With one arm holding himself up, he held his cock in his hand with the other as he positioned himself so that he could claim her. Marcus slid in easily, she was more than prepared for him. He liked watching Abby in this moment, when the first sensations overwhelmed her. The way her back arched and her head went back was sexier than anything else he had ever experienced in his life. Her hands gripped his shoulders. Marcus moved in a rhythm, moving his body like a wave. One of Abby’s hands moved into his hair as her body began to move with his. He listened to the way she cried out, the way her voice seem to envelop him as her body melded to his perfectly.   
“When your wet like this Abby, it is so fucken good.”   
“It’s the way you move, Marcus. Don’t stop.”   
His hands were placed firmly on the blanket next to her body as he began to speed up his rhythm, he listened as her moans deepened, he smiled as her nails dug into his back, the way his name spilled from her lips. Then he felt the way her hand slid down his back and cupped his ass as she guided him into her over and over again. Then her second orgasm over took her.   
“I’m not finished with you yet.”   
She had known that and yet she loved that he said it anyway. Marcus sped up, pulling out almost completely where only the tip of him stayed in her. Then he slammed back into her.   
“Fuck, Marcus. Again.”   
And he obliged her. Each time he did it, she yelled out, begging him for more.  
“Abby, oh….fuck.”   
Yet, he didn’t stop, he continued. Over and over again until her mouth was parted open as she was holding on to him for dear life.   
“Oh fuck, oh fuck, Marcus!!!”   
Then he felt her clinch around him again as her third orgasm went through her like waves. It was only then that Marcus gave in, thrusting for the last time and letting his body take him into oblivion. He laid his head on her chest, he kept himself tucked into her as his breathing began to slow.   
“Jesus, Abby. Sex with you is always insane.”   
“In a good way.”  
“Yes, baby. In the best possible way. You still want ice cream?”   
“No, I want to lay here next to my husband for a while.”   
“Good call, wife.”   
He kissed her neck gently before rolling over onto his back. Abby curled into him.   
“I married you for the great sex.”   
He laughed as he turned his head to look at her.  
“Is that a fact?”   
She was smiling.   
“Maybe just a little bit.”   
“I will be sure to keep at it then.”   
“See that you do.” 

To be continued.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am writing this at dialysis with one finger. Forgive editing errors.

Marcus lifted Octavia on to the sink in the bathroom. It had become their ritual in the last weeks of Abby's pregnancy that Marcus would brush Octavia's hair. There wasn't alot of it and yet his little princess loved having a little bow put in. Today she was in pink overalls with a little white t-shirt underneath.  
"Let's get your shoes on."  
Octavia of course had to make a game of it by giggling as she kicked her tiny socked feet. Marcus managed to wrangle her and place the little pink converse on his daughter. Her blue eyes shined as she grinned up at him. He kissed the top of her head before turning her around so she was facing the mirror as she sat on the counter. He carefully combed her hair, giving her two of the tiniest pig tails anyone had ever seen.  
"Hey."  
Abby waddled into the doorway, placing one hand on her husband's shoulder as she smiled at the scene. He leaned over, giving his wife a quick peck to her lips.  
"Daddy's doing a good job on your hair."  
"Mama!"  
Octavia stretched out her arms. Abby leaned forward and hugged Octavia.  
"Do not pick her up, Jackson said no lifting."  
Abby sighed, she missed walking around with Octavia on her hip. Marcus picked Octavia up off the sink and placed her gently to her feet.  
"Go get brother."  
Their little girl waddled off to where Bellamy was finishing his bowl of cereal while watching cartoons.  
Marcus put his arms around his wife.  
"You should rest while I walk Bell to the bus stop."  
"I want to rest with you."  
She leaned against her husband, snuggling her face against his chest.  
"Our daughter will be asleep in an hour, I'll lay down with you then. My mom will be happy to get her grand daughter up from her nap. Honestly, we could both use the sleep."  
"Marcus?"  
He had rested his head against her shoulder and already felt his body relaxing against hers.  
"Hmmm?"  
"Thank you for taking a couple months off."  
He smiled against her.  
"Day one isn't bad so far, and tomorrow you will be bringing our newest addition in the world. I'm looking forward to being here."  
He looked down at her, Abby's eyes were misty.  
"Stop."  
He said it gently. She let out a small laugh.  
"I can't help it. I'm glad you are back home with us."  
Marcus took her face in his hands, he kissed his wife before slowly pulling away.  
"No where else I want to be. I have to get going. Go rest. I'll be back soon from taking Bell to school."

Vera came downstairs, showered and dressed for the day. She always enjoyed a morning cup of coffee. Abby was sitting at the small table looking at new bikes, something Bell desperately wanted for his birthday.  
"Marcus is not going to be happy to see you not resting."  
Abby smiled at Vera.  
"I'm sitting."  
Vera laughed.  
"Can I get you anything?"  
"I'm alright. I should get upstairs, he will be home any minute and it will take me five to get to my room."  
They both laughed knowing it was true.

Marcus came in with Octavia's head on his shoulder.  
"Is she asleep already?"  
"Good morning, mom. She insisted on running beside Bell. As soon as he was on the bus she tuckered out. I'm going to put her down and then lay down with Abby."  
"I'll listen for her, dear."  
Marcus laid her down in the playpen downstairs. He was staring at Octavia when he heard Abby.  
"Marcus! My water broke."  
He sprang into action. 

Abby clutched the bed rail with one hand and Marcus's hand with the other.  
"You're doing great. Contractions are getting closer."  
"I know there getting closer. I can feel them, Marcus!"  
He nodded. He always hated this part, when his wife was hurting.  
"Can I get you anything?"  
She shook her head.  
"This baby out of me."  
Marcus glanced at the Raven who smiled.  
"I'm going to get Jackson, it's time."  
Raven tapped Abby's leg.  
"Hang in there, the best part is about to happen when you hold your baby."  
Raven left the room.  
Mere minutes passed before a smiling Jackson entered with the nurse.  
"Time to enter a new Kane into the clan I'm told."  
"Yes, Jackson. Get moving. I need to push."  
"A quick examination."  
Jackson checked Abby.  
"Yep, this baby is about to make it's appearance. Soon you'll know if you have a son or daughter."  
Marcus leaned forward and kissed Abby's forehead. He had tears in his eyes.  
"You got this, baby. You've got this."  
She felt the emotions hitting her.  
"I love you."  
"Love you more, Abby."  
Jackson turned to Raven.  
"Ready?"  
"Yes, let's give them their baby."  
Jackson looked back at Abby.  
"Let's do this."  
Marcus climed into bed behind Abby, helping her to sit up. He had done this with the birth of each of their children.  
"Abby....push!"  
She gripped her husband's knees as she obeyed Jackson's order.  
"Arrrhhhh"  
"Good. Rest a moment and we'll go again."  
Abby tried to control her breathing. A moment passed before she pushed again. All the while she listened as Marcus whispered to her over and over again that she could do it.  
"It hurts."  
Marcus could hear the pain in her voice.  
"I know, honey. Our baby is almost here."  
Jackson spoke clearly and calmly.  
"Abby, one more push."  
Marcus pushed his chest against Abby's back as she clutched his legs.  
"Push!"  
Abby gnashed her teeth as she pushed, the relief welled inside as she felt her child move from her body. The baby's cry filled the room as Abby fell back against Marcus.  
"We have a son, Abby! We have another little boy."  
She let out a small laugh. Her eyes were closed as Marcus kissed the side of her head over and over again.  
"You did it, Abby. You did it."  
She was aware her husband was crying.  
"Dad, lean forward."  
Jackson held the baby forward while Raven guided his hand, Marcus cut the cord separating his son from his wife. And then just like that their naked little baby was placed against Abby's chest. He listened through tears as she whispered a tiny "hi" to their dark haired little boy. Marcus carefully ran his large hand over their baby's tiny head.  
"He's perfect, Abby."  
"He wonderful, Marcus."  
Abby's heart swelled. She never thought she would have this again. Yet, here she was with this little creation, this tiny person who yawned in her arms, tired from his journey into earth. Abby smiled and let out a happy little laugh as their child stretched out his tiny limbs before snuggling against his mother.  
"Dad, do you want to climb out so you can hold your son?"  
Raven was ready to help him. Marcus shook his head before kissing his wife's cheek.  
"I want this moment a little longer."  
Abby gazed back at her husband before whispering.  
"I love you."  
She would have kissed his tears if she wasn't so exhausted.  
He kissed her softly.  
"I love you."  
Together they sat while they stared down at their tiny baby boy.

To be continued


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing this at dialysis with one finger. Forgive editing errors.

Marcus was in a dead sleep when his newborn son began to cry. The house had been quiet as his family slept. As with most detectives, the slightest noise could rise you from sleep.  
Marcus looked to Abby to be sure she was still asleep. He worried that she didn't rest enough. Now that he was back at work, Abby did much of the day to day stuff on her own. Marcus quickly and quietly rose from the bed and grabbed his robe, tying it as he stepped into the hall.  
Malachi let out his tiny cry, quieting a bit when he heard his father's voice.  
"What is happening in here? Come on."  
He spoke softly as he reached in and picked up his son who was clothed in a baby blue sleeping gown that had puppies on it. The word 'ruff life' across his tiny chest.  
Marcus laid him on the changing table and continued to whisper as he changed Malachi's diaper.  
"Just think, soon you'll be sleeping through the night and we won't have these three a.m. wake up calls."  
Malachi grinned up at his father with his mother's smile as if he somehow understood his daddy's sarcasm. Marcus chuckled as he gathered his son in his arms and headed down the stairs. Malachi would eat as his father chatted to him and after a bit of rocking would fall back asleep. Marcus listened as Malachi cooed away as if his child has his own things to say.  
Marcus busied himself with getting the bottle to the right temperature while keeping his son safely tucked in his arm. They made their way back upstairs where Marcus took a seat in the glider, popping the bottle that held Abby's breast milk.  
In these quiet moments Marcus's mind would drift. It was only a year ago that he met Abby in the hotel to go through counseling in order to get divorced. Instead they found their way back to one another.  
He stared down at their newest creation. Malachi's thick dark hair, much like Marcus's own. In fact except for that sneaky little grin that was all Abby, everything else was so very Marcus. Malachi stopped suckling in order to yawn and stretch his tiny body before settling against his daddy and protesting that he didn't have his bottle.  
"Your kind of bossy, Malachi. You'll need to work on that."  
"Imparting wisdom to a three month old, I see."  
Abby stood in the doorway, in a white nightgown that she kept at the end of the bed in case any of the kids ever needed her in the wee hours of the night.  
"I have his undivided attention, best time to do it."  
Abby smiled as she padded into the nursery. She leaned over her son, kissing his head, taking a moment to take in his tiny features.  
"You're supposed to be sleeping, Abby."  
"It's hard to sleep when my husband isn't in the bed with me."  
He stared at her, watching the way that her eyes still shined even though he knew she was exhausted.  
"I'll be there shortly. Go back to bed."  
"I want to check on the other kids first. Bellamy sleeps like a frat boy. Want to be sure his body stayed in the bed."  
If he could have reached out and touched her, he would have.  
"And then you promise to go back to bed, Abby?"  
Abby looked at her husband then, she leaned forward putting one hand on the glider behind Marcus's head. She leaned down so that they were eye to eye, she didn't want him to miss her intent.  
"And when you get back to our bed, will you lull me to sleep?"  
Marcus stared back.  
"I'll do whatever it takes."  
Abby raised an eyebrow as if to challenge him before she headed out of the room, leaving him with his thoughts as she went to check on their other children.  
Marcus waited until Malachi fell asleep in his arms before he stood slowly and moved to the crib, after he placed him down, Marcus patted his son to be sure the baby didn't wake back up.

Abby's nightgown was back at the end of the bed, thrown over the bed frame. He shut the door behind him, he watched as Abby beautifully naked sat on her knees as she waited for him to cross the room to her.  
"You know, Marcus, it has always been a real turn on that you're a good daddy."  
"Really?"  
He stepped to the side of the bed and watched as she walked on her knees to him. Her hands found the fabric that held his robe together, slowly she untied it as her eyes stayed on his.  
"The way you play soccer with Bell, the way you let O stand on your feet while you dance with her and the way you chat with Malachi everytime you see him."  
He placed his large hands on his wife's small hips.  
"Me being a decent dad does it for you?"  
"You being this sexy does it for me."  
Marcus swallowed hard as she parted his robe and gripped him. With her free hand, she let her fingers slide through his hair before gripping the back of his head and pulling him to her so their lips could meet.  
He grew hard in her hand as she stroked him. Marcus slowly moved himself into her hand, feeling the rush she gave him as her lips traveled to his neck. He had always liked this dominating side of Abby.  
"Lay on the bed, Marcus."  
He obliged, sitting with his back against the headboard, his robe still parted as his wife knealt between his legs, her eyes on him as she dragged her nails over his thighs. Abby knew her husband's body well, relishing that he was putty beneath her fingertips. Enjoying the way Marcus sucked air between his teeth as she ran one hand over him, letting her thumb run over the wet tip and then moaning as she ran her thumb over the vein.  
"Abby........"  
He gripped the sheets beneath him as he tried to keep from thrusting in her hand, Marcus wanted to hold on for as long as possible. Slowly her head went down, her tongue met his testicals, moving slowly, Abby turned on by the noises he emitted. Marcus couldn't help moaning her name when her tongue licked up his length and then took his tip into her very capable mouth.  
"Oh......Abby........."  
His head fell back against the headboard as she took as much as she could take into her warm, wet mouth. Abby moved over his shaft over and over again as her hand stayed fisted at his base.  
Marcus moved his hands into her hair, holding it up so he could watch her lips stretched around him. It was intoxicating to watch her, he felt the need for his body to give into her sweet torture.  
"Baby, I need you right now."  
He groaned out the words.  
Abby looked up at him as she swirled her tongue around the tip. She watched and listened as Marcus groaned and bit his bottim lip.  
"Abby, please. I need to fuck you. Please."  
She dragged her lips off him with a pop. Abby straddled him, her arms encircling his neck before kissing him hard. Abby sucked his bottom lip through her teeth.  
"You like that, don't you baby?"  
She watched as his face and breathing changed with desperate need.  
"Yes, Abby.......fuck........yeah......I like that."  
Abby moved her hips so she barely let his tip touch her folds. Marcus groaned, gripping her hips, hoping to gain access.  
"Sink on to me, please......"  
Instead she teased him as she slid her hands in his robe, slowly letting the fabric fall from his shoulders.  
Abby sank her teeth into his pulse point knowing before she did it that he would thrust up in excitement, she held herself away from his as he groaned her name into her hair and tried without success to enter her.  
"Oh fuck, baby....Abby......please, please."  
She leaned back to watch him as she sink on to him. His hands guided her hips as she took his moan into her mouth. They moved together, thrusting with a need that made them forget everything else. Abby lost any control of Marcus that she had hoped to keep as he moved her hips in a slow circle as he hit her spot over and over. He watched as her head came forward, their foreheads against each other as her mouth fell open, his name sputtering through her lips as she came.  
Marcus held her as he finally was able to allow his body it's release.  
They breathed hard against each other as their bodies came down from the high.  
"That was amazing, Abby."  
She smiled into his neck as he held her in his arms.  
"The things I'll do so you get up with the baby."  
Marcus laughed along with her.  
"You did these things long before we had children."  
"Don't use logic, Marcus."  
He put his hands in her hair and leaned her head so that he could look at her.  
He kissed her softly

They laid together, him spooning her.  
"I'll never get tired of you being home, Marcus."  
He kissed the back of her shoulder.  
"I love you, Abby."  
She kissed his hand as she whispered that she loved him too as they drifted back to sleep.

The end


End file.
